This is the
official newsletter of The Mooj minion family. All material
written by and for followers of Sri Swami Mujaputtia
"Mooj" Umbababbaraba. Unauthorized readers are asked
not to ridicule The Mooj or his loyal followers. Authorized
readers are asked to do the same.
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Since this newsletter was delayed
slightly I will neglect my usual introduction and get down to
business. For all those who care I will be back at The Ashram
this week. Those wishing to come touch my feet should do so as
soon as possible since I am scheduled for another adventure later
As we do every week, let's begin first by reading and
reflecting on the mail sent in by my minions. I have no idea what lies ahead
(but I have a good idea).
I have a secret admirer at work. Every morning he
sends flowers to my desk with a card that says nice things like smile or
Sometimes at lunch when I'm really busy he has take-out
delivered. He does all kinds of
nice things for me every day. I have no idea who
this mystery man is. Please tell me it's the engineer sitting in the corner office and not
the geek in the cube across from me who is always staring at my
Janet, age 22
Fort Dietrich, MD
why is it that sometimes people assume the worst when
assessing the good intentions of
others? Can genuine kindness ever be conditional? How
can the tiger lily charge admission to the
bumble bee? Would ever the birds pay rent to the sky?
Of course not! Udhar tum haseen ho! God
has given us everything and now, somehow, humankind feels it is his
right to take these wonderful gifts and allot them
conditionally to others. But
enough about this for now. In your case it is more
complicated because your so-called secret
admirer is that guy in the cube across from you.
I suggest you avoid the pervert and turn him into the sexual harassment
You Americans are such vain
fools! Ha! You really think all that high technology crap you
use today came from your own simple minds? Before 1947 you were a bunch of simpletons sitting around watching
black and white TV, talking on rotary dial phones and listening to
AM radio. Then after 1947—shazam—you have computers, color
TV, cell phones, fax machines, plus a million other new
gadgets. Hmmm, I wonder why? Think about it you fool! It’s because you
stole all that technology from that UFO that crashed in Roswell, New
Mexico. I don’t care that you’re using space alien ideas but at least
give credit where credit is due!
Guyd Parbat Se
|Gee, how silly of
me. All this time I
thought our current high technology was attributed to Dwight D. Eisenhower and his ambitions Federal
Interstate Highway Program. By that I mean Americans began traveling farther away from
their birthplaces and, thus, began demanding better telephone
service when they called "home" so Bell Labs had to
answer this demand by inventing the transistor to reduce costs and
boost the reliability of phone line amplification and, thus, operational amplifier
realization soon followed and that naturally
progressed into printed card circuitry, etc, etc. But I guess I was
I seek your blessings. For years I have agonized
over something and I am now ready to tell my story to all whom will
listen. May God and my
fellow beings forgive me!
Back when I was a freshman at Yale University I
was invited to join a super secret society. My father, a
wealthy banker from Boston, also went to Yale and belonged to this
organization. To make a long story short I pledged this secret
organization and had a very difficult time of it because the pledge
master was a total jerk. I hated this guy more than words can describe.
About a week before initiation we pledges were
moved into the basement of an old abandoned house located outside the city limits of New Haven. This place served as the
unofficial off campus headquarters of the organization and was often used for
secret rituals, councils, animal sacrifices and other fraternal
matters. On the night before initiation the pledge master arrived,
roused us from our slumber, and then marched us into the darkness of
night. We were then blinded by bright lights and asked questions
about our loyalty while members of the
organization stood around in dark robes. We were
then ordered to strip naked and lie inside coffins. Next we
were buried alive while the brothers danced around and sang songs about
skulls and bones and stuff. I thought I was going to die but at the
last minute they dug us up. Then the brothers took off their robes and we had this huge
celebration and drank lots of beer.
After all the brothers had left the pledge master
stayed behind and informed us that now the real fun would begin. We
knew that what awaited us wasn’t part of the normal
ritual. I won’t go into detail but let’s just say that it
wasn’t pleasant. When it was over the pledge master marched us
back into the basement and locked us up to await the next night’s initiation. As we lay in darkness the other pledges and myself began talking. What the
pledge master had done to us was immoral. Worse than immoral it was
barbaric! None of us cared about joining the organization anymore. Revenge was our only desire! So we hatched a plan.
In the morning one of the pledges escaped from the
basement and broke into the Medical School morgue. There he found a
cadaver awaiting transport to an anatomy class. He severed a hand
from the cadaver and brought it back to the house. Before the pledge
master arrived for the big initiation we placed the dead
hand in the toilet, standing it upright. We joked that we
were going to give the pledge master a proctology exam like he had
never had before! Just as we suspected the pledge master arrived
earlier than the others. We heard him enter the house and proceed
immediately to the bathroom. We waited in anticipation but there was
scream or yell. Finally we decided to see what was up. In the
bathroom we found the pledge master dead on the floor. His hair was
as white as snow! He had been frightened to death!
We had no idea what to do next. The others would
arrive shortly so we had to act fast. We carried the pledge master
back to his car, poured gasoline all over him, filled the inside of
the car with
empty beer cans, and then pushed it down a hill. We watched in
horror as the car accelerated downward, bounced up and down, and
then struck a tree and exploded into a ball of fire. When the others
arrived they found the smoldering wreck and the remains of pledge
master. The police ruled it an
The other pledges and I swore an oath of secrecy and none of us has broken that vow (until now
I guess). In the end we were initiated, finished school and went on
with our lives. Most of us are now extremely successful—hell, one
of us is even the President of a major country! Now that I have gotten this off
my chest I feel much better. Thanks.
Palm Beach, FL
I get a letter
from some anonymous person that starts off saying "for years I have agonized over
something and I am now ready to tell my story" I know
that what will follow will be pure unadulterated nonsense.
But not in this case! I feel this person was really trying to cleanse his soul
and make things right with the Universe.
His large donation (accompanying his letter) has inspired me
to meditate over his tragic beginnings and thus, hopefully,
lead him to better thinking.
Okay, say a friend of mine is totally in love with this guy... He teases her a lot and treats
her differently than everyone else he knows. Everyone else thinks he's this tough person, but
with her, he doesn't even swear. She thinks he likes her, and with good reason too!
But when she tells him how she feels, he gets weirded out. He says that he likes her a lot, but
just wants to be friends before they jump into anything deep. He says that he's not saying he
never wants to be with her, but he just doesn't want to rush things.
What I want to know is if there will ever be a chance for the two of them to get together. His
birthday is August 7th, 1983.
Julie Tran, age 17
|The great pundit Guru
Dutt once said that love is like a multiple colored
sunrise. It fills your senses with splendor and joy. But soon
it festers into daylight—where, perhaps, clouds may
gather and storms may wail. Then with patience comes the sunset; and with it,
again, splendor of joyous wonder. Or maybe it's the other way around and
starts off like a sunset followed by the blackness of night
which is then enlightened again by sunrise. No, I was
right the first time. It wouldn't make much sense if it
sunset/darkness/sunrise. But then again it doesn't make
much sense being sunrise/daytime/sunset either. To be
honest I never cared much for Guru Dutt and his whole
Hi, my name is Rahul Singh. I am studying in 12th.
I have lost my
father. I really miss him. I need a father who can give me mental and
financial support. Will someone help me? I want to be an I.F.S.
officer. Please help me. THANKS
Rahul Singh, age 20
Morar Gwalior, India
|Yes, my butcha, I
will help you! As soon as I return to my Ashram I will have
your name added to my perpetual meditation scroll. This
is a new feature at The Mooj Ashram. For 24
hours a day, 7 days a week, someone is perpetually meditating
for all those on this special list. If others out
there would like to have their name added to this list, send in a
sizable donation and include a reason or two of why you need
perpetual meditation. We are also looking for volunteers
wishing to perpetually meditate. Right now perpetual
meditations are done in 4-hr shifts. Contact the Mooj Ashram for more information.
My name is Mooj and I am married to Rohan Sharma. I am seeking marital advice since my husband
does not seem to meet my needs as a friend and spouse (and in numerous other ways!).
|Mere Haathon Mein!
Since when has marriage become easy? When one
gives his or her heart, he or she must give it away
eternally! That is why marriage is a sacred rite of
passage in both this life and the next! I know
sometimes this passage is difficult. It can be littered
with the debris of broken promises, drunken high jinks,
immoral behavior, lethargic incompetence, and lack-luster
sexual performances. But this doesn't mean it shall
remain as such forever; sometimes this debris can be swept
away by co-operative cleansing. Yes, sometimes a bond is
strengthened by its weakness! The Mooj knows this because he's been married
Before my husband died he told me that he wanted
me to keep
his skull. He's collected skulls and other gruesome artifacts for
as long as I've known him. I’m
not too keen about keeping the damn thing but I'll respect his wishes.
How do I go about finding an undertaker or taxidermist to preserve his skull? Also, since I’m writing to you for
answers, where did he get all his other skulls? He’s got about
50 of them. They're in plastic bags and hidden in our
attic. He said he bought them at garage sales and swap meets
but I doubt it.
Also, do you think The Anaheim Angels will win the World Series
again this year?
West Covina, CA
|First of all The
Mooj hopes this is a joke letter. If it isn't I really
would be Worried Ethyl. As far as The Angels go, don't
bet on it. It will be another Arizona/NY Yankees World
I would like to know if things will work out between me an my boyfriend as things have been very
strained between us for a while now. His name is Audie and he was born April 26
1978. Do you see us getting married or having kids? Anything you can tell me to make things better will be appreciated.
Anonymous, age 22
Queens, New York
|O Re Choti! How
soft and tender love can be at times. And then how hard and
rasperous it can be at others. But the
answer to any love question is often answered before the
question is even asked. Yes, my laddoo choti, you
know the truth already. But then again maybe you
Should I stay or should I go?
If I stay it could be trouble, if I don't it could be double.
Mooj, you gotta let me know.
Should I stay or should I go?
Rob, age 45
|Like steam within
a Boiling Water Reactor, this poor man has reached his
personal heat of latent vaporization and achieved limited Carnot enthalpy. The Mooj recommends that he abstain
from all vices (both foreign and domestic) and begin
meditating on a regular
basis. It would probably also be a good idea for him to buy a
Mooj minion T-shirt as well.
This is just a quick note to tell you that my wife
Dora and I loved your new Ashram. We visited
it on June 1, 2003 and it was so peaceful and serene. We had the
whole place to ourselves. How
trusting you are to leave your doors unlocked for religious pilgrims
like us to come and go as we please. You are the best guru
ever! We send many Oms and Pranaams your way!
Hank and Dora Burger,
Toms River, NJ
|Yes, it is true that The Mooj is a
loving and caring guru ..... But I'm not sure why my
Ashram was empty. There should have been someone manning the front desk or something. I'll have
to look into this when I get back.
How wonderful your new Ashram is! On June 3,
2003 my domestic partner and I stopped in to rest, relax and
meditate. We just loved sitting in those big, overstuffed beanbag
chairs that were made to look like your feet. Were those bathroom
fixtures real gold? And where did you get those giant sandalwood elephants? And those solid onyx barstools and jeweled shot glasses—woof!
The next time we are in Maryland we will surely return and meditate
again. Oh, by the way, when we arrived there was nobody there. I’m
not sure if someone was supposed to be there or not but nobody was.
The door was unlocked when we arrived so we left it unlocked when we
left. Many Oms Great Sage!
|What? You mean the
interns were still missing from their assigned posts on June
3rd? I'm defiantly going to have to look into this!
On June 7, 2003 I stopped in at your new Ashram to
buy one of those giant posters of you. The place was empty. I mean
empty of everything! Even your reflection Jacuzzi was drained. I hope
this doesn’t mean you got robbed again!
Mt. Vernon, VA
|Chori Pe Chori!
have had it with those lazy no-good interns! If my Ashram was
looted again because of their incompetence I'm going to be really upset!
I recently got in a fight with one of my best friends named Rada
it had to do with the behaviour of another girl named Mira basically
we had all gone out one night to a club and Rada was dancing with
this guy and I decided instead of standing by myself I would go over
and stand with Mira well instead she totally backed away from me
like two feet and gave me this dirty look all I wanted to do was
talk about it with Rada and all she kept saying was that she never
saw anything and she didn't want to get involved and she was
bringing up another issue I had with another friend that had nothing
to do with the conversation So we argued and finally my mom came in
and calmed us both down three days went by and I called again and
we talked again this time the conversation was a little more calm
but it went something like me talking about stuff her telling me she
told Mira everything I told her all I was looking for was a little
support the conversation left me feeling very uncertain about our
friendship because it's not like she was the one that was trying to
work things out I was the one she was just kind of saying all these
things like she's never gotten into fights with friends meanwhile
she was really quick to point the finger at me for things that I did
wrong but not willing ever to look at herself for any part of the
conversation that she did wrong. Anyways I didn't blame her not even
for telling Mira what I said in confidence to her I guess I'm
wondering why did this happen will we be friends again what should I
do please give me some advice
Biljana Kerndija, age 27
|Huh? I have
no idea what this poor girl is talking about. I guess I just can't
concentrate. Maybe it's because I'm too worried about my
Ashram. Or maybe it's because Biljana didn't use periods
to end any of her sentences. I don't know. Biljana, my sannam,
I can only say that you are young and that the friends you
hold dear in your heart should be kept. Other than that
I can't tell you anything.
It is me again Raj Chopra!
I am now in Maryland looking for you. I went to your Ashram
and it was vacant. The homeless guy sleeping in your perpetual
meditation room said he had no idea who you were or when you'd be
back. I am now staying in a motel near your Ashram.
Please direct me to where I can come to be with you.
Dr. Raj "Saagar" Chopra, Ph.D.
Comfort Inn, Edgewood, Maryland
|Oh Great Scott! Who
is this guy and why is he wanting to come and be with me?
This along with everything else has made me too exhausted to
must now go and meditate.
Last week I decided to get a tattoo. Since my
friends call me Jewel I wanted to get that word tattooed on my lower
in BIG letters so that's what I told the tattoo guy. Afterwards people started asking me if I was a
scientist and stuff. I had no idea what they were saying that so I looked
in the mirror and it said "Joule" instead of "Jewel"!
What the hell is a joule???????
"Jewel" not Joule,
couldn't reflect on your letter. I am too busy
Actually we have two poems this
week. One is about science (or
something like that) and the other is about .... well, to be
honest, I don't know.
J. Maxwell, PhD.
(Not a minion, just a concerned scientist)
P-Branes, Superstrings, speeding
though the air
10-Dimenstional Membranes, Stephen Hawking says they're there
Super gravity, M-theory, tell me do we care?
Expose these scientific frauds I say!
Tell me do we dare?
Oft, I not write
I write when mood hits
Hit mood with hammer
No more mood, oft.
Note from Intern Gus:
I just got back
to The Ashram. The place was robbed again. I guess one of
us interns forgot to lock the door when we closed up shop for a few weeks to go to the shore. The
Mooj is going to be pissed. Good thing he's a loving and
gentle guru. A "lesser" guru would
probably beat and chastise us. But not The Mooj. (We hope.)
To ease some of The Mooj's sorrow the other interns and I decided
to finally download his New Minion applications and process
them. Since there was an over-abundant number of them I'm just going to summarize them. If you would like to read the actual essays
come to the Ashram. They will be posted on the
wall. (We would have posted them on the New Minion Bulletin
Board but someone stole that.)
Click here for
New minion 1374 is Dan Thomas. He's a roofer from
Northridge, CA. He says that he loves to get
on the freeway during rush hour with his tar trailer fired up
so that people stuck in traffic around him get sick.
New Minion 1375:
New minion 1375 says that she was Miss Rheingold 1954.
She sent in a picture of herself. Nice. (Or at least she
was nice in 1954.)
New Minion 1376:
New minion 1376 is Robert J. Luddle. He was
born in Ames, Iowa. He says he left Iowa when he was old
enough to know that he could. His essay was about how Freud's
theory of Id, Ego and Super Ego doesn't really pass the bull [crap]
New Minion 1377:
New minion 1377 is Debbie Holland of Henderson, NV. Her essay was actually pretty good. It
was about how she got struck by lightning and can now turn on appliances by snapping her fingers.
New Minion 1378:
New minion 1378 is Rudy Santana. He is 28 and lives
in Leeville, LA. His essay was about how he made lots of
money investing in cattle futures only to lose it all when he bought
700,000 shares of webvan stock. It was a sad little tale.
New Minion 1379:
New minion 1379 calls himself "The Amazing
Wiffenpoof." His essay was too stupid to even mention
New Minion 1380:
New minion 1380 is a 45-year-old public administrator from Towsen, MD. She
wished to remain anonymous. Her essay was about a how she was basically
adrift in a sea of despair until she found Mooj.Com. The
essay was awarded a gold star by one of the interns.
(This intern puts stars on everything
so it isn't really that big of a deal.)
New Minion 1381:
New minion 1381 is Fred Huyett from Ogden, UT. Fred
is an odd man. Let's just say that his essay will be
kept away from the prying eyes of children.
New Minion 1382:
New minion 1382 is Richard Dunn from Union City, CA.
Richard is a lawyer working for the Alameda County DA.
His essay was pretty good. It had a bunch of legal mumbo
jumbo in it and he used the words Lex Loci Contractus a
New Minion 1383:
New minion 1383 is 19 year old Jessica Branson from Selkirk,
Manitoba. Her essay
was also awarded a gold star. It was basically a
retrospect of her life and times while performing in a madrigals
New Minion 1384:
New minion 1384 is Brook Etzikom of Butler, OH.
Brook claims to be a stud but we don't think so. He sent a picture of himself but someone drew a
moustache and eye patch on it.
New Minion 1385:
New minion 1385 is a 33 year old from West Bengal,
India. His name is Shiv
Upadhyay. His essay was about how he sometimes wishes he
New Minion 1386:
New minion 1386 is Yummi Lalalaplaf from Boise, ID.
(This name is obviously fake.) "Yummi" claims to be a 23 year old street sweeper.
Her essay was about how
she loves The Mooj and wants to have his children. (The other interns and I joked that if she hangs
around this Ashram long enough she might get her wish....
if you know what I mean ... wink wink.)
New Minion 1387:
We're not sure about minion 1387. It might be
the same girl listed above since the name and
address were the same. If this is the
same person then we are sorry. She can keep both minion
numbers since they are pretty much meaningless anyway. This time her essay was more
emotional and she said
that she was worthy of becoming a Mooj minion because she had been introduced to the depths of
Moojism and felt as though they were absolutely uplifting.
New Minion 1388:
Minion 1388 is a glass blower from NY, NY. His name
is Bob Willie. He says he has only one testicle.
His essay was basically a memory of his missing
New Minion 1389:
We're not sure about Minion 1389. We think this might
have been a
joke submittal. The guy said he was Satan. We
seriously doubt Satan would really want to be a Mooj
minion. His essay was totally stupid (not to mention
New Minion 1390:
We're not sure about Minion 1390 either. The guy
listed his name as D. Bryan Chaney but didn't add anything
else. We think he might have sent off his application
before finishing it.
New Minion 1391:
Minion 1391 says his name is Adhya Bidyabinod. He
lives in New Delhi and works as a rickshaw-wallah. His essay was awarded a gold star and brought
many tears to our eyes. It was about how he sacrificed
his happiness to ensure that his daughters married well.
He also added a poem called Aye Phansa that none of us
could figure out since it was written in Hindi.
New Minion 1392:
Minion 1392 sounds like a real loser. Sorry to be so
blunt but it's the truth. Listen 1392, you're
lucky. You wouldn't have been accepted as a Mooj minion had it not been
for the fact that one of the interns thought you looked like
that guy "Ducky" in the movie Pretty In Pink.
New Minion 1393:
And last but not least is Minion 1393. This guy's
name is Chris Villa. He's 39 and lives in Logan, VA. He
says he once appeared on the TV show American Gladiators. His essay was about how sometimes people
don't say what they mean when they mean what the say (or
something like that). We interns almost voted this guy down
because he sent in a picture. He looked like a total dork in that big
For your reading pleasure we bring you
real-time (albeit several weeks delayed) Mooj adventure.
So as not to ruin the surprise ending I won't say anything
more about what you are about to read. But, oh boy, are you gonna be surprised!
Intern in charge of the
Ashram at the moment.
THE BAY ROAD
The Secret Passage
After our first night of sleuthing we came to the
conclusion that something was indeed going on at The Hayes House:
mysterious ships in the cove; rowboats rowing around at midnight; lights going on and off inside the
house; tire tracks in
the driveway; fingerprints on the door knob; the Mahmoods
their beloved home—yes, my friends,
something was definitely afoot!
To be honest we didn’t do much sleuthing for the
next few days after our initial visit to The Hayes House because we
had to look for our missing motorcycles. You
may recall that we hid them in the woods on our first night and then never found them again. They were pretty good
motorcycles, too (all '49 Panheads). We still haven't found
After a few days we moved our base of operations closer to
The Hayes House and rented a motel room near Old Dutchman’s
Cove. This motel was situated on a bluff
overlooking Barmet Bay, which, coincidentally, was the same bay that
The Hayes House overlooked. Trent thought this was an ideal
location to conduct surveillance. I liked it, too; but mostly
because it had free HBO and a complementary breakfast bar.
Our second visit to The Hayes House occurred five or six days after the first. Except this time it was during the
day. Trent, Lance and I were walking along on the Old Bay Road after an all-nighter in Ancient
Oaks when we spotted that familiar Bayport sign. Trent suggested
that we take another look at the mysterious Hayes House. Lance and I were too
drunk to care one way or another so we went along
without much of a fuss.
walked along the dirt trail leading to the house Trent noticed that new tire tracks
Unsure of what it meant Trent advised us to stay alert and be as
quiet as possible. Lance and I did our best.
Soon we emerged from a clearing near the back of
the house and were shocked to see a tall woman standing there hanging laundry on a clothesline. Before we could
duck back into the woods she saw us. Trent realized that it was
useless for us to hide so he called out to the woman and told her
that our car had broken down and he wondered if we could use her
phone. The woman glared at us and said that her
phone was out of order. We thanked the lady, excused ourselves, and
then walked back to the road. When we reached the end of the
driveway Trent yelled, "Look!" He was pointing at the
mailbox. Instead of saying The Mahmoods—as it had a few nights
before—it now read Abram and Sarah Lusby. "Yes," continued Trent, "I believe we
now have a real mystery on
When evening came Trent roused Lance and I from
our sleep. He said he wanted
to return to The Hayes House to do more sleuthing. Before we knew it
the three of
us were on the road to Bayport.
From a considerable distance we hid in the woods
and observed that The
Hayes House was now lit up. The same woman that we had
seen in the morning was sitting
on the porch smoking a cigarette. A man sat next to her but we
couldn’t tell what he was doing. Trent thought it looked like he
was shucking oysters or something. A few minutes later we heard what
sounded like a telephone ring. The woman got up and went inside.
A few moments later she poked her head out from behind a screen
door and said something to the man. He got up, rubbed his hands on
his pants, and then went inside. "It appears that there’s a
telephone call for the man," said Trent. He then added wryly,
"Which means that what that lady told us this morning about her
phone not working was a lie!"
After a few minutes the man and woman emerged
the house, locked the front door, and then got into a black sedan
that was parked in the driveway. After they had driven away Trent
ran to the
house and climbed in through an open window. As soon as he
was inside he opened the front door for Lance and I. It was now
time to have a look around The Hayes House.
Trent suggested that we begin in the basement. We found the cellar door without much trouble and
slowly climbed down into the darkness.
In the basement we used our flashlights to look around and
discovered that the place was filled with big machines. "These are printing
presses!" said Trent after lifting the canvas tarp off one of
them. "And look," Trent continued, "there’s
money hanging on the walls!" Trent was right! There were dozens
of freshly printed $20 bills on the wall. "These
guys are counterfeiters!" said Trent.
Then all of a sudden we heard noises in the house
above us. "Kill your flashlights,"
ordered Trent. In the darkness we stood silent. Trent whispered to follow him to the
rear of the cellar to hide. We found a large wooden crate and climbed inside.
Then the cellar door creaked open and we heard a
"click." Suddenly the cellar was awash in light and
we heard footsteps coming down the stairs. From inside
the crate we could peek through knotholes and saw four people
appear. Two were the man and woman we saw earlier. The other
two were unfamiliar. Trent whispered that they looked like seamen.
From our hiding spot we could easily hear them discuss their
operation. It soon became obvious that these crooks were not only
counterfeiters, but also smugglers, kidnappers and car
thieves. They were also planning a heist of someplace called the
When they were through talking one of the crooks
walked over to a hidden lever, pulled it, and then a wall near
where they stood slid open. "A secret passage!" whispered
The four crooks then stepped inside and disappeared.
After discussing whether
or not it was wise to follow the crooks through the secret passage
(something the Hardy Boys would do) Lance and I convinced Trent that
it was best just to get the hell out of there. So we did.
(....to be continued...)
After we returned to our motel room
Trent, Lance and I had a big talk. This Hayes House mystery is a bit
more complicated than we had originally thought. It’s one thing if
we were going up against just smugglers or just counterfeiters or just
kidnappers or just car thieves. But when your going up
against smugglers that are also counterfeiters, kidnappers
and car thieves; well that’s a bit too much. Trent said it was like the
first four Hardy Boy books all mixed into one! Thus, we decided to get the hell out
of Southern Maryland. By the time you read this we will have returned to The
Ashram. Now is a good time to come by The Ashram if you
want to see me (before I leave on my next big adventure).
Scala - Milan, June 30
The Met - New York,
Sydney Opera House, July 12
The Royal Opera House, London,
Opéra Bastille, Paris, July 22
Neuschwanstein Castle, Salzberg,
ABC Liquor Lounge, Ocala, FL July 28
Perks Coffee House, Norwood, MA,
Dante's Inferno, Edgewood, MD, Aug 4
Helms Club, N. Chicago, Aug 7
Top Of The River, Vicksburg, MS,
Rawhide, Scottsdale, AZ, Aug 25
The Big Texan, Amarillo, TX, Aug 28
Ice Centre, San Jose, CA, Aug 30
Happy Jacks Saloon, Morro Bay, CA, Sept 3
Hermosa Beach YMCA, Sept 15
|The Mooj Weekly Standard
published weekly, bi-weekly, monthly or sometimes even bi-monthly by
the good folks at The Friends of Mooj Society. The
Friends of Mooj Society is now headquartered at the World Famous
Mooj Ashram in Abingdon, MD. The Friends of Mooj Society is a nonprofit organization, bent on
spreading the good works and teachings of Sri Swami Mujaputtia
Umbababbaraba (know to all as The Mooj). Anyone can join The
Friends of Mooj Society and all are encouraged to do so. All material published in this newsletter is the intellectual
property of Mujaputtia Umbababbaraba (aka The Mooj) and may not be reproduced in any manner, shape or
form without the expressed written consent of The Mooj or one of his non-paid
interns. The Mooj is an equal opportunity swami. He's also quite
handsome and popular with the ladies.