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More From Bser ...


You need to do a purge bud, you are so full of shit your eyes are brown. You got a lot of balls calling me a pain in the ass, after the stunts you pulled in Uncle Sam's Canoe Club. Still telling people that AC power is better than DC because you can reuse the electrons? When you ran out of clean underwear at Hunters Point BEQ - you stole what was left in the dryer at the end of the hallway. How could you wear a stranger's underwear? Do you still insist that florescent lamps do not emit light, they absorb darkness - the proof is that when they get full the ends turn black, Mr. plastic spider in the popcorn!!! One notes that you worked on the fusion project and there is no working fusion reactor yet. Coincidence... I think not. Ever encourage someone from Salt Lake City that what they had there was genuine table top cold fusion???

I found the program for Mike Bowden's memorial service in the Gloria Jeans Coffee Bean crate that you and your wife gave us as a wedding present. I'm not sure that the picture will tell all. If not I will scan it instead of taking a picture. He is still missed by thems that knew him. That was a deadly cruise - if I recall correctly we lost 14 men on that West-Pac. Were there 2 ELT's that violated confined space regs, and were overcome by Ammonia? Are they on the memorial? Remember the pilots in the ready bird ( the Fighting Aardvarks ) that had to eject on the flight deck because of a fire in the cockpit canopy controls. Yes sir, defending your country is dangerous business, and if you gonna talk the talk, you by gumm better walk the walk. I would have told that youngster ( back on page 9 that called for advice about signing up and shipping out) that it is no joke, but that it is one of the finest things to say " I served". I made more friends, saw more of the world, and proved to myself, beyond the shadow of a doubt, that I had the "right stuff". Everyone that made it to RX Dept did.

If you are serving now, just remember this,

(1) You can endure - play the military bullshit games - it's nothing personal ( even when it is! ) .

(B) You are upholding a proud tradition that earns you a place in this country's history - read 1776 by David McCullough and know that you are brothers with those men ( and quit yer bitchin - you 21 st Century softie )

(lll) Glory lasts, the pain will fade, and you will be left with memories that you could never have gained in any other way. I did, in fact, refuse to have my picture taken on that last Cruise because I was fed up and hated everything about the Nav and swore that I would drink the 6 years of hell I went thru out of my system, and yet here I am, 18 years later telling you to do your best for God, your Country, and your shipmates. Stand that watch to the best of your ability and you will not regret it.

Lt. Lee, I apologize - I'm not sorry, but I do apologize for what happened. You are a good man and welcome at my campfire any time.

Yes, it took 16 years of Rusty Nails - that is 3 parts Chevas Regal to 2 parts Drambuie over ice every 15 minuets until the room spins in a clock-wise direction ( counter clock-wise if in the southern hemisphere) - and 2 years of learning how to install and use Windows, to tell you this, but I am proud of my ship and my Shipmates, not you Goldilocks.

MMCM Devil, you deserve every name and earned every slam in the dopey books, but when my mom got the cancer and was all alone back home during West-Pac 88, you had me in an S-3 Viking an hour after the telegram got to the ship. A Cat-shot is a rush more than equal to seeing the Enterprise, underway, in the rear view mirror!!! I never said thank you for that. MMCM, Thank you. ( Salute...2 ) Or were you just trying to get rid of me? If you are ever in Dallas look me up, I'll buy you a beer or 3. No hard feelings. Not after 16 years of the afore mentioned libations. ( my other fav is 3 shots of Espresso, a shot of Brandy, a shot of Bailey Irish Cream, and a shot of Hershey's chocolate syrup - a recipe learned from the stage manager for the band Journey. It is called " Uncle Steve's Rocket Fuel". Guaranteed to wake the dead and put the living back on their feet.). See you in the funny papers.

Musical interlude # 2 - to the tune of " Afternoon Delight" The verse goes like this........... and a one and a two

Gonna find my baby gonna hold her face 
Gonna grab a little afternoon disgrace

TTFN The ol' B.S.'er

....[about two hours later]...

Wrong again, boy blunder. I'm up to page 14 - and the sign wars. Why would Lance put hair in my shoes? He wasn't stupid ya know. He put the hair in my pillow case. I woke up an hour after hitting the pit all itchy and scratchy. I had to do the yearly rack cleaning early, and take a shower before I could get any rest. Lance got puss rockets ( sausages from Le deck du mess ) in his shoes for that one. Greasy, meaty toes for a 150 degree 4 hour watch. At the time it was mean, ugly and frustrating. Today, I'm laughing so hard I threw out my back. My wife thought I was having the big one, I couldn't catch my breath. God I miss being around the smartest collection of people I've ever known. Kept you on yer toes. You knew who your friends were - but not always your enemies, right Lov---d.

I found a gag memo, but it is too faded to scan, so I will type it in . I saved it, so I get the credit. It may have been EMC Simms from RT ( great advice from him... "When you first take over a division, or group of people" sez he in that quiet, serial killer kind of way " Stab hard and stab deep, and you may never have to stab again"). A true sage of the modern era Mooj not withstanding.

The Memo was purportedly from LCDR Lyle Da---son. RT DO - another in a small group quality Leaders.

Dated May 1989 To: All Rx Dept Personnel RE: The Special High Intensity Training Supervisor ( The S.H.I.T.S.)

In order to assure that we continue to produce the highest quality training and preparedness possible, we will be administering the Navy wide program called Special High Intensity Training . We will giving our Nuclear Trained Personnel more Special High Intensity Training than any other Department on the ship. All of our Section leaders are well qualified to see that you receive all the Special High Intensity Training that you can handle. If you feel that you do not get your share of Special High Intensity Training , please see your Division CPO. you will be placed at the top of the Special High Intensity Training List. Please watch for your name to be prominently displayed on the S.H.I.T. List. If you feel that you have had enough Special High Intensity Training already, you will be given the Basic Understanding Lecture List , Special High Intensity Training (B.U.L.L.S.H.I.T).I have assigned EM2 Stephens to assume the duties and responsibilities of Director Of Intensive Programs, Special High Intensity Training. From now on PO Stephens will be the D.I.P.S.H.I.T.. He will no longer be the Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training ( H.O.T.S.H.I.T.) that he thinks he is.

As for why I joined up....... Musical interlude # 3 Pink Floyd - Dark Side of the Moon

Well you run and you run to catch up to the sun but it's sinking 
Racing around to come up behind you again 
The Sun is the same in a relative way but you're older 
Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

And I had to get out of Oklahoma and do something before I wound up not doing anything worthwhile with my ownself.



KP Note: BSer, I have so many memories of you. You and I were great friends and classmates in NPS (we might have even been in EM-A school together too). I remember how delighted I was when I saw you on the mess decks of the Big E. You went to Idaho and I went to NY and somehow we wound up on the same ship together. I do remember how much you hated the navy, especially in the latter days. But I never knew you once to sleaze anything or give something less than 100%. Even with my quantum mind I could never quantify how many beers you and I put away in those long ago years. Or how many bands we saw together. If I'm not mistaken you were a semi-permanent fixture at our house in Dublin, as VW gave you his key every night he had duty. 

I wonder if your "Larry Blakes" bumper sticker is still on the 2A RX...

So you're in Texas now? Too bad. Had a backstage pass for the next big P-Mooj show waiting for ya.      

Frank Gabriel Comes Aboard

Frank Gabriel (Engineering)

1990-1994 (RCOH)


Olongapo - Wally World for Squids

To set this up, you need a little background on a painful memory. I got engaged before prototype, and left her back home in OKC. On the way to pick up my roommate in Colorado - the redoubtable David Barnes - I ran low on gas somewhere in N.M. and slept in the back of my Chevy truck, ol' Blue. I got tonsillitis, and the first day at A1W, they had to send me to the nurse who sent me to the hospital. I remember the Doctor bringing in a bunch of cute trainee nurses to peer down my throat, and then the son of a bitch takes out a lance and hands me a metal bowl and sez " Spit in here". He pokes that lance down my throat and cuts the swelling at the back of my throat. I then gagged up about a quart of pus from the abscess. I look up and no more cute nurse trainees. It was one of the worst thing anyone has ever done to this boy. It hurt, tasted nasty, and he gave me no warning whatsoever. Asshole Doctor. I then had my tonsils out. At age 24. It took me three weeks to recover. The staff at A1W gave me a choice. Drop back a class or go on mando + 8 s  from day one. I wanted to stay with my class so.... I swear I do not remember anything else about prototype. I de zombie kid for 18 weeks. I passed and got leave before reporting to my ship, the Big E. No sex in Idaho. None. Not even a wet dream. I am so ready to see my baby back home, Big Ed is pointing the way. A 1200 mile boner.  " Hi, Carrie, I'm home. Come to your loving hunk O' man." She stops me right there " I have something to tell you. I have Herpes." I turned around and walked out. She had ripped out my heart and stomped that sucker flat. I had been mostly faithful at NNPS, so we are working on a YEAR with no poontang. It had been so long since I had got any that I had forgotten what the jello and feathers were for ( kinky is using a feather, perverted is using the whole chicken) . Full scale deflection on the universal WAAAAA meter.!!

I report in to NAS Alameda, and get flown to Manila, via commercial jet with a few other squids. I start to hear some of the tales of this magical land where even a guy like me will have no problemo. A guy like me is kinda short, kinda chunky and looks kinda like Fred Mertz from The Lucy Show. I've never been a real ladies man and I doubt that Olongapo will be all they say it is. My spirits do not lift. Big Ed is still MIA. Manila is a long way from Oklahoma, and I'm a little freaked out by the traffic, the smell, the taxi ride to the Westin Plaza Hotel ( a good place to stay back then), all those f**king people and the kindness of the Navy. No one there to meet us, no one there to tell us how to get to the ship. This will not be the last time that those heartless bastards fly me to a foreign country and tell me that how I get to the ship, at the other end of the country, is my problem. Does make you self reliant though. In a sink or swim kind of way. Anyhow, we do get some help and make it to the Base. 

Funny thing KP, I do not remember any revolution, or troubles with the locals. I can't remember who I was with, but it was a fellow Nuke, and we were in the company of an old salt who was our tour guide/lifeline. We check in at the base and get sent to TPU. OOPS, my paperwork is not squared away, and I need to go back and get something else stamped on my COMNAVDIRTBAG at Personnel, or something of the kind. "Gee, Chief, can I leave my things here, so I don't have to lug it all back across base, hummmm? Let me just get some money so I can get a new toothbrush, and maybe a postcard for my Mom from the PX." I do have an open, honest face, but behind it lurks the heart of a Big E Nuke, before I had even seen the ship! TPU forgot all about me, cause I had never checked in with them officially. They did not have my name on the muster sheet. We had traveled in our civilian clothes, and with a wad of cash (about $250) I made a beeline for the gate. No warnings, no instructions, no idea what I was getting myself into, I head for main street, sin city.

What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas" my rosy red ass. What happens in Vegas in for weaklings!!!

Magasaysay Street is like a carnival. A rundown shabby carnival. Jeepneys whizzing by, hucksters selling cheap crap. Bars to the left, bars to the right, noise and confusion at every turn. Someone tried to sell me a "cherry bracelet" I just keep walking down the road listening to the music and looking at all the traffic and people. Hear a song I recognize, and turn in, going down a dark tunnel, and in to my first bar. It is nearly empty, and I sit down, catch someone's eye and order a beer. A sweet young girl brings me a San Magoo and I tried to pay with a twenty. She looks scared and runs to mamasan. Mamasan comes over and asks me what gives. We talk for a minute and she calls a girl over, and tells her to take me to a money changer close by. As we are leaving the club this nice girl starts tell me all about the system in Olongapo. "What, sez I, "Do you mean to tell me that just about every girl I see I can have, for about $4.50 in American money?"." Yes, sez she" The farmers with too many daughters sell them to the Chinese owners of the bars, and the girls live in small rooms at the bar. Short time is here at the bar, but you get the best treatment with a LONG TIME. Take the girl out and buy her dinner and get a room, she will love you all night." And just like that Bid Ed was pointing the way north. Wahoo !!! Call me mister LONG TIME. 

On the way out, the money changers were trading at something like 26 peso to the dollar. The money changer this oracle of sexual enterprise takes me to is trading at 34 pesos to the buck. Oh my god the price of an all night girl is less that a Happy Meal back home. Big Ed is gonna take a beating, in the best way possible!!

I tried big tits, small tits, large girls, skinny girls, two at once, and three at once ( I never did figure out what to do with the third girl, except to have her bring more beer!). That first night, Big Ed rose to the occasion 8 times with 2 different girls. the first one kicked me out shouting that she had had enough of me after the 5th time, and I did not know that you were supposed to take the girl back to the club in the morning so I found another honeyko, and got a different room at 3 am. I was less into drinking than making up for lost time. But After 3 days, Ed was sore from the non stop action and I could hardly walk, so I made my way back to TPU. The other Big E people filled me in on what I had missed -- field day! They had gone to the bowling alley that second night. I took a shower caught some zzzz and that night I took my buds on a whirlwind tour of what I had been doing while they had racked up some spares and strikes. In all my time in the PI I never did see the inside of the bowling alley.

That first visit, I racked up a score of 13/0/0. 13 sweet, wonderful girls, zero rubbers and zero problems. I never did call them rice powered, ass operated, self lubricating, little brown fucking machines. They were human beings and deserved to be treated with dignity and respect. I was kind to every one of my honeykos and never made them do anything they did not want. But they let me do anything, anything, because I treated them well. And paid the price of a happy meal!  So long Olongapo, We shall never see your like again.

The ol' B.S. er


Dick Jokes Part 4

So I go into the cafeteria at the Whamco facility ( Idaho) - affectionately known as the choke and puke, lovely ain't it - and these guys are having a good laugh so I ask what's up. They look around guiltily for a moment and spill the beans. Seems one of their fellow workers was working in the Radcon storage building, getting ready to ship some material and afterwards showered down and did a full body sweep. Just for fun he grabbed his pecker and put the detector up to One Eyed Willy. The counter pegs high - on the lowest scale. He is horrified and goes back into the shower and grabs a stiff bristle brush and goes to town on his privates. he comes back out and does a REAL CAREFUL body sweep - after all his happiness is on the line. He finishes the sweep with no ticks, grabs Mr. Johnson and puts the detector to it. Screaming zoomies peg the counter high on both the lowest and next scale up. A crowd starts to gather shouting suggestions, and sympathizing with this poor guy. The guy goes back into the shower 2 more times and scrubs himself raw ( a la " Silkwood" ). His genitalia are bleeding from the scrubbing he gave himself and he is crying. You would be to. A supervisor entered and helped him scrub down where this guy could not really reach, if you know what I mean, and a team observes as , with shaking hands, he does the body sweep. He misses nothing. He takes a hold of his micro-organism and... pegged high. The poor fellow collapses seeing visions of the first dickectomy to be performed at Idiot Flats Hospital, when the supervisor grabs his hand and does a very slow sweep. Each finger, up down and sideways. He get to the thumb and as he turns the thumb over the counter pegs. There was a particle under his thumb nail and when he did his ordinary sweep the thumb nail was enough to shield it, but when he was holding little charley the thumb was turned over and would peg the meter. They remove the problem and lead the schluub away sobbing with relief. His dick was not going to be a permanent addition to the Store for Decay program! I shit thee not.

Dick Jokes Part 5

Driving to his new duty station, this Chief - lets make him an ETC - sees a broken rail and smoke coming from the bottom of a ravine. So close to his new base, but... he pulls over to see if he can help. He goes down the slope to an overturned and smoking car and looks in. The driver, still belted in, has his pants around his ankles and is in a bad way. Lying next to the car, face up is a pretty girl. Nekked. Not a stitch on. The ETC is taken aback and is not sure what to do. At that very moment a car up on the road screeches to a halt and an inebriated EM2 jumps out and yells down " Kin Ah Hip youse" - the ETC yells back " Yes, go and get an ambulance!". So the EM2 stumbles down the embankment, takes one look at the driver and sez " Ah nose whut youse was doin". The Chief, worried what this drunk fool will do with a nude girl on the ground, takes off his hat and drops it over the young lady's ..err um.. groin area. The drunk walks around the car, sees the girl, bends down and lifts the Chief cover, and has a good look. He puts the hat back, scratches his head and sez in a sober voice " Well I'll be. That is the first time I've ever seen a Chief's hat without a DICK under it". heheheh :)---

That ol'


Pics From

KP Note: Bs'er you may or may not recall that I was with you the day you bought that Pope JP II bottle opener at the Vatican. I have one too (think it's still in the drawer).  I fondly remember standing on the top of St. Peters with you and pointing to a far away object and saying "Look, Brad, it's the Eiffel Tower!" Some nosy tourist tried to correct us and we just ignored her, pretending like she was nuts. No doubt she brought that story home ("I met these two morons in Rome that thought they were looking at the Eiffel Tower from the top of St. Peter's....") I remember we walked for hours afterwards trying to find the Fountain of Trivi. You may or may not recall that you left a very expensive camera behind in a cab that day too .... Ah, Rome. Filthy, smelly Rome.

Holy shit! Was this the same trip to Rome that poor [you know who] got [fill in the blank] on the train? Could be. We went twice. I can't remember if you were on the train that night.  .... Ah, Rome. Filthy, smelly Rome.

I remember those bio-feedback cards. They handed them out at NADSAP (or whatever that was called). It was like a mood ring thing. 

I'm ashamed that you still have a Pacers card..... You know it's still good! They're good for a lifetime (so they say). 

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Jason Rhein Comes Aboard ...


I was browsing the site, and came across this:


I saw that Alyssa Ng__en signed on the site on page 41 and you said welcome to a new female sailor. Alyssa Ng__en is actually the Woman living inside of a Dude. No seriously, it’s a dude with a woman living inside of him. Thought you should know. I’m sure you’ve already gotten plenty of emails about this, though.


*KP Note:* Huh? No, this is the only email I've gotten about it. I have no idea what this guy is telling me. Can someone (in private) email me and tell me what I should know.

Hehe... "Alyssa" was an RC-23 ET who wanted to be a woman. This caused some friction between him and the Navy... He would keep trying all kinds of different antics trying to maintain a transgender lifestyle: wearing female belts with his poopy suit, wearing his navy issued scarf like the Red Baron, and trying to get away with wearing a female utility shirt, to name a few. One night during the shipyard of 2002/2003 while I was standing phone talker in 3 Plant, the SDWO was hanging out with me and SRO at about 3 o'clock in the morning (I guess he was bored, most watch officers would be in their rack at that time). He was one of the cool watch officers, who would often hang around and shoot the breeze with us, and he was also "Alyssa's" Div-O. He told us about a long conversation he had with the kid about why he wanted to be a woman. "Alyssa" couldn't understand why the navy wouldn't just let him have a sex change operation and be done with it. The LT couldn't get him to understand that having your man bits removed and sculpted into something else wasn't something you could get done in a weekend and that the navy would have to give him convalescent leave. Also, he would have to be transferred to another ship as it would likely be awkward for the rest of us to continue to work with the guy. In the end, it would cost the Navy too much money and time to just cave and let him have his sex change. I don't remember the guy's real name, but Alyssa was the name he chose for himself after asking his mother what she would have named him if he had been born a girl. (Although, his last name is Nguyen). In the end, he was ousted from the Navy, but I don't know what the official reason for his discharge was. (That's why if you read the list of 2000s sailors and see his name he has a rather short period of being on board the ship.)

I guess I should tell you a little about myself since I am guilty of having been reading the site for the past few years and not bothering to sign in... I was an MM in RM-23 from 2001 to 2005. Been through the Suez Canal and Gibraltar but never got to become a shellback. Was supposed to though. During our 2001 deployment to the Persian Gulf, we had just completed our tour there and were on our way home via a stop in Cape Town, South Africa. We were all pretty psyched about getting to go there. We were making ahead flank south and were supposed to pull up and stop at the equator for the ceremonies on September 12... I guess you can figure out why we never made it there. We didn't end up getting home until November.

Thanks for the great site, it's neat to read the sea stories from over forty years ago, things have definitely changed a lot since then, but then again, some things have remained the same... After we pulled in from one of our underways, I had duty the day after pull in, which to me was the worst duty day to have because it meant you got to leave the boat for less than 24 hours before you had to be back on board. But not to be deterred, I went out that night and boozed it up. The next morning I looked at the watchbill to discover I had 1st and 3rds RAO in 3 Plant. Wonderful. I spent the better part of the watch leaning against the wall of decon locker because it was cool and felt good on my drunken (now turning to hung over) face. At one point, the CRAO came down the ladder and saw me liked that and just laughed. A little while later, 3 guys from NRRO had come down into the RAR. At first, I didn't give them much thought, I just put the HIPACs between me and them so that they wouldn't see me, but I realized that when I had relieved the watch, we had been charging to the bravo primary for cool down, and that all the PVO tools were just sitting in a drip tray waiting for some observant fellow to bust me with them not being locked up. We were allowed to put them in the drip tray, as long as we were nearby and monitoring them, but since we had secured charging a few hours before the NRRO guys had come down, and I was hanging out in RARU, there was no reason for them to be out of the locker. That's when I went into action: I managed to move unobserved past NRRO, down the ladder to lower level (couldn't go down the bulkhead, they would have seen me) and did the best ninja move ever across the deck plates in lower level: Not one plate made a noise, gathered up the tools, and locked them in the locker. By this time, NRRO guys had made it to lower level, too, but since I was outboard of the #1 shaft, they didn't see me as I slid past them again, and back up the ladder where I went to stand in my usual place between the RPFW pumps. I was quite proud of myself for what I had accomplished, I was standing there being all smug about being the best ninja in the world when an announcement was made over the 1MC: "There is a Spill in #3 Reactor Auxiliaries Room Lower Level..." It didn't immediately sink into my clouded head that 3RARLL was right below me. I was standing there thinking, "Man, that sucks for those guys," when I realized I was "those guys." I moved over to the ladder and peeked down to see the NRRO guys clustering around the 3A charging pump, while one of them was breaking out the spill kit. Imagine that, and NRRO guy actually doing something... I was thinking, "oh shit oh shit oh shit oh shit!" I stalled for time by yelling down the ladder at them to tell me where the spill was while I was writing it down in the logs. Because it's always more important to be sure to log something than it is to take action, especially if you're trying not to get too close to people. In less than two minutes, though, half of RL division was in RAR and I was relieved from having to do anything with the spill, it was great. To this day, I believe those NRRO guys caused that spill on purpose. The spill was "a drop of water formed and fell off of the gage line from the 3A CCP." Funny, it hadn't leaked before, it didn't leak after, and at the time of the supposed leak, it was isolated from the rest of the system, so it didn't even have the static head of the CWDT pushing on it. I found a squirt bottle full of water in the lower level book locker a little while later after everyone had cleared out. That's why I believe the NRRO guys did it, they did it to be evil dicks, which is what they all are. There's a special place in hell reserved for members of NRRO.

Once again, thanks for the site, and please add my name to the list of alumni.

Jason Rhein


KP Site Read-a-Thon

KP, I Love this Site. I found it several weeks ago and it took me quite a few days to get to all the stories. I even took a day off work. I know you don't take donations to help keep this site up so I bought one of your CDs. Thank you again!

Roger Allen, 3rd Div, 1971 - 1973 

KP Note: Thank you, Roger. You will get that CD as soon as I can get to the post office. Just so you guys know (hint hint) I just Opened the last box of CDs (for our First album) so if you want one....let me know!

Random Thoughts ( ? )

I'm up to page 30 now, and have a few random thoughts- I'm not going to submit a full story to the Editor just yet.

I vote with Blue Lou - you were an Evil Comic Genius. If you are still afloat, find someone like KP and encourage him. It will keep the heat off you- the Kaki's will be so worried what he will do next that any bone head thing you do will seem tame by comparison. KP inspired mayhem will make the time pass quicker. "Funny as hell, but evil you were" sez Yoda

Yes, I led you to the Whore of Toulon, but there must have been a shift change by the time you got there. The young woman I "met" had a nice bod, average looks, and was the most enthusiastic f*ck a squid could want. She had a hairy p*ssy and I could not stop looking at it. I figured I'd have to leave a trail of bread crumbs to find my way out again. She thought I was an admirer of the woolly mammoth look and got on her hands and knees and did tricks for me. She could part the hair in two directions, no shit. Well, I did not speak French and she had no English -BTW if you ever have to ask for sex using hand signals, it will not make you feel like a debonair individual- and she proceeded to show me that it weren't just for looks. She had me lie on my back, got me balls deep in it, and lifted my ass off the bed with her p*ssy. Yes, I hung by my d*ck from a French Floozy. What muscle control !!!! THAT'S why I lead you to your doom. I never heard that you got stage fright, or that VW bailed on you. Sorry, Bud. Guess I wore the first girl out.hehehe

Check a map sometime, sh*tlips. We hit 6 continents, not 5 . Count 'em with me, puppy humper. North America ( That one should be obvious, even to you) , Rio DE Janeiro ( South America ), Perth / Freemantle ( Australia ) , Mombassa, Kenya ( The big A, Jambo mutherf*cker), Hong Kong is about as ASIA as you can get and one other. Can't remember? See the story directly above this, dou** bag. The only one we missed was Antarctica, and only because the CNO was afraid the chowdales would molest the penguins and we'd have to pay millions for so many ugly penguin/chowdale kids.

It has been two weeks and my wife hates this web site. I minimize it whenever she walks in to the room, I laugh out loud for no apparent reason - the picture steamer sent of the man and woman with the packing tape and the boxes marked FUDGE had me rolling, she came in, took a look and said " I don't get it. What's so dam funny about that." And I still crack up about the Mobil Chernobyl Cruise patch. I was trying to explain it to a church friend, at his house. I gave it as good an explanation as I could, but I cracked up and started laughing. He said " Brad, I never thought you were a blithering idiot. At least, I've never seen you blither, but that's just not funny ! It was a tragedy of unpresidented proportions, and an ecological disaster." I knod , cause I can't speak and giggle at the same time.The kids, his and mine, came in to find out what was so funny and we started tickling and rolling around on the floor, laughing and having fun. His wife comes into the room to find out what all the noise is about and he tells her about the patch. She starts to laugh and sez " But, that's awful" and I said " Yeah, and it rhymes." She got it, and started to laugh with me, the kids are chanting " Mobil Chernobyl, Mobil Chernobyl " and I can't stand up I'm laughing so hard when my wife walks in, takes one look at me and sez " Brad, you're blithering." So I guess it is official. I'm a blithering idiot. Thanks KP. Thanks a lot.

Your Bud, The Ol' BS'er


KP Note: Where do I begin? I thought I had shaken that horrific episode (the Toulon Whorehouse) out of my memory. No doubt it was the same wooly-woman as I think I described her as being in a similar condition. Maybe that's what scared poor Mr. Ed into Hibernation. I had no idea I had shared that sorry episode (my dishonorable discharge from the house of ill-repute for lack of putting up a ... well, you know). All I know is we saw that same woman a few days later driving a high end Mercedes Benz through the ruins of Toulon. No doubt she was the richest woman in those parts. BSer, since your spilling your guts about devious interludes, do I sense a story about Naples' Gut District coming forth? I hope not as I am trying to keep stories on this site somewhat respectable....

Speaking of somewhat respectable .... I have one painful memory about a night we spent many years ago at the house the Vee-dub man was living in (Concord?) during the latter 80s. He had two roommates, who I won't mention other than say they were somewhat over-sized females (we think). We were over the house (you, me Dicko, others I'm sure). It was a typical night for RE Div homeless refugees. We crashed the place bringing multiple packages of beer, a cartoon VCR tape, an action movie VCR tape and the obligatory porn VCR tape. We watched the cartoons.... most of the action movie .... and finally the female roommates said goodnight and headed to their rooms-----TIME FOR THE PORN! We put the tape in and .... Roommate #1 comes back out ... tape is quickly popped out, action movie put back in .... Roommate goes back to bed.... Porn tape goes back in....Roommate #2 comes out.... etc, etc. This happens three or four more times. Finally the roommates say "we Know what you guys are watching! It's okay. We'll watch it with you ..." We were so tired of putting in and taking out the tape we just said okay. It was a pretty nasty movie and we had no fun watching it with the females present (couldn't add in our own dialogue as we often did). Finally Dicko and I had enough and bid farewell to the gang and left. I have no idea what happened after that. Neither the Dub nor Bser ever mentioned anything and pretty much refused to discuss the events. Very suspicious ....      

Some People Followed The Grateful Dead from Town To Town.....

That, of course is no longer an option. But YOU can follow the BSOLP! I recommend you do so as they need better turnouts at their shows or their World Tour might be ended sooner rather than later.


Dan Fisher Update

Good evening, 

Just reading the newer post and thought I should update my address

Thanks, Dan Fisher RM23


Richard Perryman Comes Aboard

I am a former crew member, I served on the Enterprize from 1970 to 1974, I was a CMO in #4MMR. You can add me to your listing email address is


You've got to put your behind in the Past

All the way forward, on the flight deck level, to the right of #1 Cat arrestor, there is a catwalk. It was my spot. When I was fed up with all the bullshit, wearing the same clothes, seeing the same people, doing the same thing day after day after day I would go to this catwalk. You can look down and back and see the cutwater of the Enterprise as she makes her way through the water, and you are in front of the mighty ship. At night there are stars, and wind, and the gentle motion of the ocean, but everything else is behind you. All 91,000 tons of steel, everyone that pisses you off, and all the things you are supposed to be doing have yet to catch up to you. You are as far from RX berthing as you can get and still be on the same ship. I remember in the Indian Ocean in 1986, I was fed up with the whole shooting match. I was certain I was not cut out to be a sailor. I regretted being there, where I could not escape, but being a person of honor, I was bound and determined to see it through to the bitter end. I would not renege on my commitment, but I was not sure I could survive with my sanity intact. I hated the fucking Navy, and everyone in it. As I looked up in to the heavens, I could see a small line of light amidst the stars. Halley's Comet. No one back home (in the Northern Hemisphere) could see the famous comet because of the declination of it's approach to the sun. But I could see it. Most people in the Cities of the Southern Hemisphere could not see it because it was too faint. Just a line of light about the width of a pencil lead and about an inch long, the lights of a city would wash it right out of the sky. It was not very impressive, but I could see it. I live near Dallas, now, where you can't even see the Milky Way, but I can still close my eyes and remember the blaze of stars, the Southern Cross, and the enormity of the blackness of the firmament. And I saw Halley's Comet. That far forward, pushing your way through the world, all the noise and confusion have yet to happen. Your destiny is not decided and you can look back at what is about to pass or look ahead to what is coming. That night, I made the decision to make the best of the choices I had made and not to carry the weight of recriminations for being less than I wanted to be. All the way forward is a peaceful place to be alone with yourself, and forgive everyone-after all they are just as lost, just as uncertain, and just doing the best that they can to survive in this crazy situation as are you. The solitude to find within yourself the strength to persevere can be found on that catwalk. Under the stars, gazing at the legendary comet, the quiet of the ocean gave me hope. And then some chowdale burped in my ear and told me that this catwalk is restricted during Flight Ops. No shit Sherlock. Good thing Flight Ops are not for another 4 hours, numbnuts.

The ol' - Reactor Electrician,RE02 LPO, RT LPO, DCPO, MAIL PO, and RX Dept Sailor of the Month ( it was a slow month).


KP Note: Sailor of the Month? It sure as hell must have been a slow month (although I did hear you were pretty squared away up in RT....:) I know the catwalk which you speak. I spent many an hour there watching the water. It was near this very catwalk (I think) that some poor airdale hung onto for dear life after being blown overboard. He hung for hours until someone heard his screams after securing from flight ops. 

PBS Carrier ...

Okay I KNOW you all watched it.... I did, not knowing why as it was pretty boring. None of the characters were likeable (with an exception of the Black Aces---who were more our speed). PBS should have found someone that worked below the second deck that wasn't wearing a colored jersey and then they might have found someone vaguely interesting to follow around for awhile. (Although that gunny-sarge cha-cha dancing half-wit that got left at a carnival by his folks when he was three would have been a good RM22 LCPO candidate--maybe two weeks max before he jumped from the fantail blabbering incoherently).

Random Thoughts: 

I guess the "I'm Gay" scam doesn't work anymore .... Now it's "I'm racist!" 

Females .... one teddy bear per rack ... like High School .... Hmmmm. I won't comment. We had bullshit to deal with (but not drama)...

Drunk PO1 sailor of the year bonks drunk airmen .... goes to mast ... bye bye career.  In our time there were smarter ways to f**k up a navy career.

Enlisted chicks BSn' with orcifers at resort pool? Seemed Odd. 

Calling home every night? daily Email? I'm glad we couldn't be bothered during our cruises---talk to you in 6 months! Send pictures.

Moms leaving their young school-age kids behind to go to sea ... WTF????

Navy wives then and now ... hardest job in the world...

Dude gets f**ked over by girl at home (never saw that happen---NOT)

The Candy Ass Crossing the line ceremony ... ('I heard they used to beat people with fire hoses' ...)

But I did smile every time they showed the wide-open sea, the sun through the clouds, the majestic sunsets, the glorious sunrises ... and a part of me missed being underway. Then I saw that CMC buffoon (Tuck in that shirt, Shipmate) and remembered why I got out.  

To all YOU I sailed with 1986 - 1990: I'm glad you were my shipmates. You were/are still my best friends and I'm glad you had my back, took your job seriously and stood watch to the best of your ability. I trusted you and always will.



For What It's Worth

Up to page 44 in the reading......

Hi Bernie, I'm glad to see you checked in. I thought you were and are a great guy to work with. 2 plant was where it was at. Bernie was a good compliment to my lazy curve hugging self. I will give up trying to get KP to slam me back, but Bernie, if you are out there man let me have it. Tell me what you really think !! I have been the Superintendent of multimillion dollar electrical construction projects with 70 hands to ride herd on and everyone calling me names on a daily basis, yet NO ONE HAS EVER cut me down to size the way you could. Funny, biting and sarcastic and knowing that we still had to work together for the next 6 months you never went too far or got personal. I miss you dude. We did not party on the beach too often, because you were (are)? married and I was a confirmed pervertiod (never got my qual card signed off so I did not pass the boards for the Whoremonger Pervert watch). Was it with you that we put the magnet on the back of the throttle linkage as a joke on those SRO slouches - Petro and Fey? It made something go off once when you put it on and once when you pulled it off. I never saw two guys straighten up and take their job seriously faster. From careless slobs to concerned watchstanders in less time than a speeding locomotive. What fun. Idle hand may be the devils playground, but cold iron watch for weeks on end at Hunters Point we taught old scratch at trick or two.

Happy Hanson is one of the Evil Minions of NNRO ?! Why does that not surprise me? I loved following you through job assignments, because you were soooo squared away that the turn over was easy and all I had to do was follow the system he set up. I think I got the RT job right after you, and the mail PO job also. I hope you get a really painful papercut, pencil pushing lifer!!! ha ha ha ;)------ I did not get the 2 Plant LPO after you. I think it went CTG (Mr. Bipolar), Greg Brazier - one of the funniest people I ever knew, but so quick AND smart I was intimidated by him. He became Aft Group Soup - but who followed him KP ? Then MST as LPO. A lazy FNT'er till they gave him responsibility. He sobered up real quick. Mr. Maintenance after it was his plant. And he dragged me along to read the PMS cards while he got the hang of "righty tighty, lefty loosey" . Mark and I took a trip to Vancouver during Fleet Week in Seattle. We took a Greyhound Bus and on the way I looked over and noticed a large black man with a chainsaw earring. I poked Mark in the side to have him look and Mr. Casual got caught scoping this guy out. Turned out he was a stand up comic. DO NOT hang out with a comic on his way to a gig unless you like being ridiculed in front of a room full of people. We stayed at the Hotel Granville. They got some real hotties in Canada. Sweet, easy and as big a pervert as I thought I was. I did get a few sig's on the qual card that night, hehehe. His dopy book entries were all porno - Marianne Gravatie stands out in my memory as THE ONE. My wife looks a lot like her !!!

By the time I was my turn in the hot seat, I would drag Terry Hickey along to do maintenance, because I loved to listen to his stories from home, and I liked to torture him just a little. A sadistic bastard I was, but only in small ways. Terry is a good man and I would love to hear from him too. After Terry who? Pete Vietsky? Randy Herman? I got short and don't remember.

I finally got the nerve and tried the Two Plant Looser door. I thought it was KP's personal slam. I was thrilled to see the RM's from Two Plant. They were the best, wackyiest bunch of goofy MM's that an RE could be sentenced to stand watch with. Jacobson with his Pecker Checker routine, what a hoot. He would unzip his pants and pull out his one eyed worm, and wait for you to notice. I took one look and started laughing, that little pink acorn wiggling at me, and busted up. They all start chanting "Pecker Checker, Pecker Checker" and I'm nodding in agreement and laughing like a loon. Dan Coyne could pull your leg right off and hand it to you and two days later it would occur to you that he was goofing you. I did a qual armed with his brand of heat engine and got told that I had a serious flaw in my understanding of enthalpy, entropy and that I was quite possibly the dumbest mother f**ker on the planet. Dan was great! When MM1 Halsey learned it was a Two planter that " helped" me study up for the check out, he worked on me for an afternoon and signed 6 places. It put me so far ahead of the curve that I got all of Krotchy, Pakistan off. What joy. I watched one day, as someone in RM 22 filled a nasty old Boone Docker full of water and poured it into a glass and drank it. It was the cloudiest, grossest, pieces of Dr. Scholles shoe pads floating in it, sicko thing I had seen to that point in my life. The bet was for $5. I could not have kept it down for $5,000. RM 22 were only losers in the Chief game. No really. Check this out. MMC Bush - " BushSUX" followed by MMC Harper " Butt Crust". They finally caught a break with Chief Martinez. Cool dude. But 2 years of heart break by the first two khakattack leave the kind of scars that take awhile to fade. Butt Crust was a real piece of work. Crazy, but in a Chain of Command kind of way. Must have been the side burns and the tightening of the shorts from all that crust.

And to that kid asking about going surface or subs, let me tell you the straight dope buster. Go chAir Force. A regular 8 to 5, You get to go home every night. You can get your degree while in, and if you like new places and new people you can work in civilian aviation and have your company bought out or merge now and again. And there's no risk of drowning, lunatic chiefs you can't get away from, and you are still serving your country. That's my advice. Don't work for a living, go chAir Force. In case you doubt, I met and flew with some chAir force slackers from Rahmstein AFB, Germany, to Philadelphia on my first world trip and they told me stories that made me green with envy. I told them stories that made them happy to be right where they were, SNAFU chain of command and all. 4 and 8's. No fucking way Charlie. 8 month deployment, GQ for 6 hours, uninhabitable ship that you still were forced to live in. Nada. " Live in fame, go down in flame- cause nothing can beat the Army Air Corps" Actual song from the '40's

Gotta go, life is calling. Caio good buddy. The BS'er Afloat ' 86 to April 6 ,1990. 2:45 EST.


Life on the Big E, Circa 1963 - 1967:

I'm damn near 65 years old, am retired three times, and love to read of the adventures and mis-adventures of those who have served on the "E". I personally feel privileged to have been a part of her crew during those history making years. What really sticks in my mind, and what I find myself thinking on, were some of the shipboard regulations that were required. In those days most regulations about uniforms were at the discretion of the ship's skipper or what was called "Command Discretion." I can remember working from muster to dark thirty, at sea, on some of the dirtiest jobs known to only the Navy. One the top ones was moving a platform that had something to do with locking the shaft or "Jacking Gear." You'll have to excuse my knowledge, it was 40+ years ago. The job, of course, had to be done as quick as parts and fabrication would allow but, of course, the evening meal was part of the equation. You want me to work, you gotta' let me chow down. The kick in the ass was that a sailor in those days had to change into the "Uniform of the Day", which as I recall was Undress Whites. This meant a shower, then change into uniform, a wait in the chow line, and a shave if the Mess Deck MAA was a real prick. Then change back into dungarees. How wonderful. It was shortly thereafter that dungaree passes where implemented.

Another pain-in-the-hind parts was the regulation on the wearing of white hats (The Immortal Dixie Cup). Most ships on the East Coast, by 1963, had gone to wearing the ball cap, the old small stores looking one, while at sea. Not the "Big E.' One was required to wear the white hat from the second deck and above. Yes, at sea. Now I would like all you snipes that have dealt in repair to think just how clean one could keep a white hat during the course of a workday. There have been times over the years that I wish I had bought stock in the companies that manufactured those beanies. After the yard period in 65 the ship left for a change of homeport and ball caps were allowed to be worn at sea and import. Thanks for James Hollaway III, the ship's 3rd Commanding Officer.

And, as a final note, I can vividly remember being asked? to leave the chow line because my "Boon Dockers Steel Toes" were not spit shined. Never understood that, they were well blackened as the regulation stated. I guess he, the MAA, just felt like being a super prick that day.

Rich Allen R-Div. 1963 - 1967


V. Ortega Stops By For A Quick Visit (with new Email Addy)

Shaking Jamaican , 4th plant , witness to the bush beating, clay pulley ...


The Catwalk ...


Just perused the site and came upon the mention of the starboard side catwalk at the bow of the flight deck. WOW! Must have been some sort of magnetic place for nukes.

In 77/78 Burt Page, Ed Kennicott, Rick Timmons and I used to finagle the watch bill so we were all on the same schedule. That way we could all work out together in the ship's gym after the 00:00 to 04:00 watch when the gym was pretty much deserted.

Back in "the day" the ship's gym was up near the bow just a few decks below the flight deck. (A whole other story there. Imagine doing bench presses in an express elevator that changed directions every 20 seconds.) After a good one hour work out, the four of us would head up to the very catwalk just mentioned on this site. We'd still be in our shorts and tank tops and all sweaty. If we were in the South China Sea or the I.O. the early morning temperature and the ship-generated breeze was just right for cooling down and drying off. Most times we would be at darken ships and if this was a moonless night it would take several minutes of adjustment before that amazing canopy of stars would appear. Sometimes you could look down towards the water and see the phosphorescence of our bow wake. (Cool!) The four of us would just stand around in the catwalk and speak in almost hushed voices so as not to break the spell. On really dark nights you could just make out the outlines of the fighter aircraft that covered the flight deck. Sometimes you'd hear some poor schmuck skin his shins in one of the numerous aircraft tiedowns. You'd hear a thunk and a muffled thud followed by a wave of profanity. Inevitably some other squid would show no pity and say, " They just put that there!"

Eventually you'd detect a faint pink glow on the eastern horizon. The spell was about to be broken. Slowly the stars started disappearing. You could feel as much as hear the activity level rise. The Big E was waking up. Eventually the first of those noisy f**king "huffers" would roar to life. Then the Air Boss would start his pre-launch spiel, "Now on the flight deck, time for a full flight deck uniform……" Time to head below and once more take on the life of a nuke at sea.

You had just spent a couple of good hours with your buds, working out and then experiencing dawn on a tropical sea. That catwalk was a magical place. Glad to hear it was still working it's magic on later nukes.


Reunion Update

Reunion is weekend of August 1st, 2008 near Niagara Falls/Buffalo New York.

Talked to Tom Wotherspoon on Friday over a nice Ribs and Chicken lunch.

Tentative plan is golf on Friday for any who are interested. If enough people are in town Friday night and want to get together we can have a gathering at a local watering hole.

Saturday picnic at my house starting around noon. Standard WNY fare. (Beef on Weck, Chicken wings, potato and macaroni salads. Bier (yuengling and Labatt's Blue) and pop.)

Sunday, If enough people are interested in some local sightseeing we could book the whirlpool jet boats, fishing on Lake Ontario (King Salmon) or Maid of the Mist boat ride.

We do have plenty of room on our property for any interested in camping or pitching a tent. I have 3 acres with a pond. (2) 20 amp circuits outside to hook up to. You could stay as long as you wish or Christmas (whichever comes first)

Rick Newman "Chester" EM-23


Raymond Gomes Comes Aboard ...

Please include me in the list:

Raymond Gomes RC div 10, 1969 to 4, 1971


Water Restriction

Hi All, I have been off line a few weeks. It is good to read the last few pages. As for the Master at Arms giving us much crap, Things were somewhat relaxed when I was on board. But then again some days the ass hole on the after brow would not let us off the ship without shinned boondocks. The answer to this crap was gloss black spray paint. Or grease in a pinch. I was on board during the Viet Nam era. For the most part, you just had to do your job, stand watch. I made e-5 pretty fast so I did not get as much crap. I have always been blessed with a talent for fixing things. I really like to fix things others could not. Yea an ego thing but what can I say. I learned motor rewind from a book, We did have an e-5 that showed me some of what he knew. The biggest motor I rewound was the no. 2 cat retract pump motor. It was huge, the ship fitters had to take out several bulkheads to get it to the power shop. The biggest rush hot job was doing the main evaporator feed pump. It was when North Korea captured the Pueblo. The ship was on mandatory water hours and the Master at Arms was told to write up anyone that did not stink. It took me 23 hrs to finish the motor and was going to get some sleep, The Chief told me to stand fast. One of our escort ships burned out a main fire controller motor. To make it short I was up 43 hrs straight rebuilding hot motors. I went down to take a hot shower, I had forgot about the water hours. The damn MAA put me on report.


Lance Henderson Has New Email

My name is Lance Henderson and I wanted to update my email address to



Chuck Neverdosky Found ...

He is still alive.....believe it or NOT!!!!! he can be reached at



Mr. King,

Is photo attached of new navy jet? Look like special jet with stealth wing? We ask only because we like navy. What is range? What is fuel capacity? Does jet land on ship? What is thrust wind load ratio? We like very much. 

Thank you sir. 


KP Note: Yeah, I'll get all that info to you as soon as possible (Not). Does anyone know what plane and ship this is? Is it something that is in public domain or should I yank it? 

Ike Man Cometh? 


I hail thee, great nuclear wizard of slow and thermal neutrons! I served proudly in your nuclear navy, albeit on a carrier named for an army general (too shameful to mention). I loved your site beyond description and will pass it along to others I know who at one time or another absorbed gamma alpha beta zoomies in the navy. Thank You!

MM2 "Mr. T", IB, M-Div, 2003 - 2005.    



So I'm sitting in a Shanghai hotel room last night and started reminiscing on my Big Pig adventures. I've spent the past 2 years in China and Korea and had the opportunity to visit Pusan a couple times. Remember Texas Street? It's still there my friend! For some reason, I distinctly recall a scene where Andy S___ld and Greg B___r bickered over a hot Korean bar babe but after a few pitchers they decided to share the spoils. I googled them last night and found Andy all over your website. You totally screwed the rest of my night because I had to read on. The stories are priceless! I'll fill you in with some stories and Big E photos when I return to the U.S. next month. Great to see you're still kicking butt.


Mike Engel

KP Note: Space Daddy! You ain't gonna believe this. Last week your humble protégé Kid Pillow (Gil) was visiting me at my shop and we were talking about you. Neither one of us had heard from you in years. Can't wait to hear from you with more details. I wasn't sure if you wanted this email address listed on the roster so I'll wait until you contact me later with a personal one. I'll temporarily put up the one you are using now so immediate pals can contact you. Great to hear from you again, Mike. You were one hell of a good friend and I know we had many laughs together over the years.

A Shipmate Has Passed Away

It is with great sadness that I inform the Tom Bigley, RM, 2 Plant, 1966 – 1970, passed away in January.

If you have any questions, please feel free to contact me via either email or telephone. Tom was my best friend for almost 30 years.

Wilfred Weilder


KP Note: We are very sad to learn of Tom's passing. Those that remember him are asked to send some memories. 

Mystery Plane

Hey KP - that so-called "mystery plane" looks like the plane they used in that terrible movie called "Stealth". It starred Jessica Beil and Jamie fox (I think). It was a new high-tech stealth plane and I think one of them was unmanned. The movie was horrible and is not worth your time, but it was filmed on a carrier.

-Johnny Caustic


Mystery Plane II


Not a top secret plane. It's from the movie Stealth.


KP Note: Me thinks the naive KP was made a fool of by some unscrupulous lad posing as a Chinese national. I admit I was fooled. Figured they were now replacing the F-18s with some new stealth thing. What do I know. 

A Must Read!

Hi KP: I haven’t been on this site in over a year and am always amazed at the internal energy (could it be atomic?) this group develops! I wanted to add that I noticed a new book, Aircraft Carriers at War, listed by the Naval Institute Press, and written by James L. Holloway III, Big E’s CO from 1965 to 1967. I came aboard in August 1966 and was a admin striker in the Reactor Department office. Made many a run from our 3rd deck office to the bridge to get steaming orders (many years before computer networks!). We made the ’66-’67 Vietnam cruise and I left the ship in July ’67, along with Captain Holloway. He then became the youngest Admiral in the Navy’s history to that date. I went on to Naval Intelligence Command in the Pentagon and saw him on several occasions in the halls. To those who don’t know, he then went on to become CNO and then Chairman, Joint Chiefs of Staff. His book is a mosaic of his own experiences, almost all involving carrier warfare. I didn’t know, until reading his book, that he spent a year under the personal tutelage of Admiral Rickover, while preparing the Big E for combat operations for the first time.

Good stories here for those who can remember Captain Holloway. I was able to hook up with him via email through the Naval Institute, and asked him if he would inscribe my book. He gladly accepted; told me to send it to him with $5 to cover return postage. I sent him a scan of the cruise book with my picture in RE Division on the #2 aircraft elevator. The attached speaks for itself. Thanks, and great work!

Bob Keller

Visit by Kitty Hawk A-Ganger


I served on USS Kitty Hawk (CV63). I was a snipe (A Gang). I found your website by accident and spent hours reading through it. Thank you for putting this together. It must be like a time capsule for all your lucky shipmates that find it. Nothing even close to this exists for other ships. I am too tired to think of any old sea stories but promise to add one when I can.

Take Care,

Dave King


Looking for Old Friend

KP, E-mail Dave King re: the last post on the site, ask him if he remembers a George Kauffman. If so, hook us up,\.

Dale Keys


KP Note: I didn't keep Dave's email so I'll post it here and let him get back to you if he knows George.

Water Restriction


As time passes and I get farther and farther from my naval experience, I've noticed that the good times I had on The Pig are starting to dominate my recollections from that period in my life.

But then I read a posting like John's on Water Restrictions and all the horrors come rushing back. I was never as conscientious as John appears to be, but I saw that scenario play out many times. I remember guys like Jeff Brewer busting his ass only to be rewarded with... more work! And to top it off, getting a speeding ticket for taking a shower after working non-stop for two straight days.

I definitely agree with you when you say we worked with some of the finest people walking God's green earth. Speaking of Jeff, he was and I'm sure still is, one of our shipmates who was the best of the best, as a friend and as a coworker. And he was a hell of a baller, in spite of being a short, white guy who liked the Celtics.



Dwight Hartz Comes Aboard

My name is Dwight Hartz and I served aboard the Enterprise from 1969 to 1973 in RM division in propulsion plant 2. My email address is



I saw the 'Benevolent Order of Navy Nukes' on the mooj website and figured I would send in my update. Thomas Holzwarth, M-Div 82-84, 87-90. After the NAV I started driving tractor trailers, I got married again, moved to Silver City, NM, now I'm working for Freeport MacMoran's Chino Mine Unit driving a 'Haul' truck. Just going around in circles in a big hole in the ground. I work 14 days out of a 28 day cycle, 12 hour shifts (still less than the resin change out) for $15.37/hr (better pay). One of my groups of days off is 7 days long, never had that much time off in the NAV unless I took leave. I had my identity stolen, so I changed my last name to Ervin. It was a good thing that I had been in the NAV because my fingerprints were on file. I never thought it would be so hard to prove I was me. The people at the Social Security office warned me that I should change something in my name so whoever stole my identity couldn't file for my benefits. 

Tom Ervin


Cruise Book Info

Great news for those of you fascinated with cruisebooks (especially ones people don't have in their possession). There is a company that has online yearbooks (called They have college and high school yearbooks mostly, but also some Navy cruisebooks. They have one from the Enterprise 1999 cruise. The access is for a fee of about 5 bucks per month or 30 bucks per year.

They are very interested in adding to their collection. For anyone that would like to mail them a yearbook or cruisebook, they will scan it (text searchable) and will make those scanned files available for free to the person who provides the yearbook.

The scanning searching feature works very well. I have found many people in the University of Arizona books that way.

I am in the process of working with them to have my two cruisebooks from the Truxtun (CGN-35) 86 and 88 cruises placed online.

You might want to pass this onto your Enterprise compadres.

The link is provided below.

I have also attached an example of a scanned page from this 1999 Enterprise cruisebook.

Here is my contact at e-yearbooks.

Bryan Michael


Bill Carter

Re: Burt Page?

PP, was that "Stu" Page the body builder MM from aft? I remember him so well, one of the most generous hearted people I've met.

Randall Kidd


Kelly Zimmer Comes Aboard

KP, Please add me to the list.

Zimmer, Kelly RE02 1986-1992


KP Note: Ummm.... hello? Sometimes I wonder if some old salts find this site and then check in before reading along too far and realizing who "KP" is. I say this because obviously Kelly doesn't remember his ol' best bud, KP!!!!!! The dude who took him on his first Subic City excursion!!! Kelly, you dog, tell us what you're up to these days. Your sea daddy the ol' BSer just checked in. 

Rick Timmons Comes Aboard

Rick Timmons, MM1, One Plant 1975 - 1977


Updated Email Addy for Mark McHugh

Please update my email address listed on your BIG E RX & ENGINEERING ROSTER 1980-89 Site to:


Mark McHugh, CHP


Odds and Ends

KP, A couple of weeks ago I posted a note on this site and mentioned one of my old 1MMR buds, Rick Timmons. Bingo! A couple of days ago I get an E-mail from Rick. Seems he found my name on this site. AWESOME!

In that same note I mentioned Burt Page. Randall Kidd wanted to know if that was actually Stu Page. Yep, one and the same. Soon after we all came aboard, Kyle Barber gave Stu the nickname Burt, and it stuck to the point that most people didn't even know that his real name was Stu. Once, when Burt returned from leave in his hometown, he was exceptionally happy. When I asked why, he said that he and his father were sharing a beer on the back porch of their house and his father called him "Burt".

Also mentioned in that note was the phrase "They just put that there." I always thought that this was a Big E phenomenon, but in the years since I've gotten out I've heard this from guys off other ships. Don't know if this tradition continued on the Big E after us '70s guys got out, but just in case, here's the deal. Whenever anyone bumped into a fixed object, everyone who observed the accident was practically REQUIRED to point at the offending object and say, "They just put that there!" It didn't matter if the object had been there since the ship was built. It didn't matter if the guy was knocked unconscious. This was just the required response. In the second deck starboard side passageway, just forward of the aft chow hall, the passageway widened into a sort of alcove. Outboard was some office and a small head. Inboard was the Health Physics Office. Just outside the door to the head was a large valve on the fire water line in the overhead. The valve was a 12" or 14" rising stem gate valve. Since it was in the overhead, it had to be installed with the stem in about the 8 o'clock position. This meant that when the valve was open (which it always was) the stem extended down into the walking area. I think this valve was original equipment and was there since the ship was commissioned in 1961. It was a serious bumping hazard and everyone knew of it.

Once a month nukes would gather around the Health Physics office to pick up their TLDs after having them read. On one such day Gary Steinke decided to use the head while waiting for the crowd to thin out in front of the Health Physics office. Gary came out of the head at a rather high rate of speed and walked smack dab into the valve stem! He took the full force of the collision on top of his head. He instantly went down to his knees. His eyes were unfocused and blood was trickling down his forehead. I went to the aid of my old NPS bud, but first I had to wade through a crowd of about 20 Big E sailors (most of them nukes) all pointing at the valve stem (no doubt with a little bit of Gary's scalp attached) and, opining, "They just put that there!" I don't remember for sure, but I probably told Gary the same thing as I helped him to his feet.



Jamzona Ram-zone-a

Those of you who "dig" the P-Mooj will be happy that we have a new show to download:

I admitted to the Crit Thinking gang that I was slightly medicated during this performance. It resulted in an out of this world performance where I actually sang in key. $5 will be given to whoever can correctly identify the lyrics to our version of Oh Yeah. Usually I'm a little more discreet when I make up stuff on the spot. It must have been all those muscle relaxers that made me not even bother to try and hide the fact that I can't remember lyrics. Hope you enjoy!




I was on the USS Wyoming SSBN 742 Gold and am out of the Navy now. Here’s my resume!

Dale Lertjuntharangool


KP Note: Thank you, Dale! I'll post it. How about some 'tuber' stories for us surface pukes. I didn't know the SSBNs were still patrolling ... or are they? What is the latest in the secret service?


Please join me this afternoon in making a virtual toast to all those who we honor today at 5PM PST.



Larry Warren Comes Aboard

I severed on The Enterprise from 1973 to 1976. I was a reactor operator on Plant 2

Larry W. Warren,


Erik Morton Comes Aboard

Hey Ram,

Glad things are well. Please add my home email to EE30 (87-91)


Erik K. Morton


KP Note: Hey, Erik! I remember you very well. We stood many a watch together. 

Doc Boyd Changes Email Addy

Ram please change my email on the contacts list to


Cat Walks

Hi again. After reading about the hang out in the catwalk I have to tell where a bud and I hung out. In the pictures of the Big E you will notice the two for better choice of words horns off the bow. There is a steel net between them. While assigned mess cooking we used to go there and get in the net while at sea and at night. It was a cool place and the view was very impressive. While assigned mess cook, it sucked big time, I made many friends from all over the ship. We all made rate near the same time so we were connected to some one in almost every department on the ship. It pays to have friends and we helped each other many times in my later time on the ship.



Richard Perryman Comes Aboard

I'd like to add my name.

KP Note: Richard, can you send back your work center and years. If there is shame involved because you were in RM23 I totally understand why you want to keep your work center confidential ...... (I'm kidding) 

Mark Budzinski Comes Aboard


Awesome site! Please add me to the list:

Mark Budzinski, RC-23, 1983-1987

I was also in that group of guys that attended Cal Poly, SLO. BTW, I think Brian Crozier may have an RC-23 dopey book. Anyone heard from Becker or Bombard?

KP Note: Hey Mark! I barely remember ya!

That space forward of the aft mess decks...

The office in the outboard of that space is now the DAAC office, or Drug and Alcohol Control office, also known as the place you go to pee in the bottle when your number gets called. I'm not sure how it works anymore, but back in our day (the kinder-gentler 90s) some khaki picked a random number and a random letter, and if your last name started with that letter and your SSN ended in that number, you were to immediately report to the DAAC office for a whiz quiz. There was, of course, a urinal installed in the office, with strategically placed mirrors so that the pecker checker didn't have to directly stare at your junk while he was watching you test out.

The Rad Health office was another story. They had that chest-detector (Alpha detector, right?) in there, and of course the TLD reader, so some people would be there for just a few minutes, and others would have to sit chest-tight for 30 or so for their yearly rad health physical. Yes, the finger, but that part was in medical, roughly amidships, from some doctor who must have played linebacker at Canoe U and had the hands to prove it. Anyway, the ELTs in there liked to keep the Dutch door closed even with a line outside (privacy - this was a medical procedure, right?) and the hours weren't posted on the door, so one of the great things nucs liked to do to chowdales was to stand outside Rad Health (during non-business hours) until a few people joined you to shoot the shit, and then start asking any freaking skittles (the 90s nickname for the colored jerseys - they had the same colors as Skittles candy) why they weren't lining up. Eventually we would leave, and come back about an hour later to find a hundred Airwing personnel lined up outside Rad Health, and none of them knew what they were lined up for.

I guess that speaks to two things about shipboard life - chowdales are fucking stupid, and sailors in general are so used to standing in line for everything that they figure if there's a line around, they ought to be in it. No chowdale ever had any business at Rad Health, which was clearly marked as such, with big magenta and yellow trifoil signs on the door, etc. But, time and again, they fell for it.




Frequently the aft head deck held a few inches of standing water which, when the ship rolled would sometimes spill over the hatch bottoms. This condition was so recurrent, that some would sleezily don boots without socks before venturing from berthing to take a midnight piss. Even then, the soup would sometimes leak into the boots. The liquid was lukecool and would often breach the tongue and eyelets--other times it would come from above and attempt to baptize the whole foot. This would invariably be followed by a stream of consciousness flurry of F-bombs and curses aimed at the ship and Navy. There is no feeling like a booted bare foot being swarmed by a concoction of shit, piss and cum-laden shower water.

However, one found these half-measures to be folly and turned them upside down. Such a man was Banks. Banks avoided these indignities entirely and embraced the gestalt of the aft head with abandon. One night after visiting the aft head, the almost naked, half-sleeping troll made his way to his pit. His soaked black socks, half off, slowly slapped the deck with shower shit juice while his big belly and crank swung from side to side. As he made his way home, a glistening wet trail followed. Then, with socks on, he rolled into his stained pit which consisted of an unsheeted, body-greased, striped foam mattress.



Mike Avis Changes Email Address


Please change my email address on the contacts list to


Mike Avis (RC23, 1986 - 1989)

KP Note: Hello, Mike. long time no hear from.

I have always depended on the kindness of strangers.

Dateline May 11, 1986 - a long time ago, in a life far far away.

I would like to preface my remarks by stating for the record, I am a happily married, Christian, Republican, blood donor ( 5 gallon club). I do not and will not engage in such disreputable behavior as has been reported in this here record of Enterprise shenanigans. I finally caught up to page 55 in my reading and was Very unhappy to see the supposed 3 some letter posted by whats-his-fake. I was not bragging about my exploits in Olongapo. It is not bragging, really. When each "act of love" takes 2 minuets........well, you do the math. That ain't bragging. LOL Much of these hijinks were long unthought of, and dimly remembered. I had run into only 1 other shipmate in the 18 years since my departure from the Navular lifestyle and never told my sea stories to anyone - mostly because I knew they could not relate. And I did not want to come off sounding like a total pervert. That one guy was Keith Hudson, an EE-30 dude. Robert Vanwaggonen and I felt sorry for him in Singapore and took him with us. Before Liberty we got the usual disinformation about how strict the Authorities were in Singapore. While on the beach, 1/2 way down a long block, Bob and I wanted to cross the street to a shop on the other side. Keith made us wait while he ran down to the end of the block, crossed, keeping carefully within the crosswalk, and ran back down to where we waited. Bob and I ditched him as fast as we could. You bet we did. So, when I saw him in Dallas/Ft Worth years later... I ditched him. Don't get me wrong, I'm all for law and order, following the rules and apple pie, but if you won't even J-walk you're too straight laced for me. In his defense, it was broad day light, and a car was only 2 blocks away.

Bobby and I developed a pattern, whilst on Liberty. We would find a hotel, check in and take a "Hollywood" shower. For you young'ens that is a shower that lasts more than 4 minuets, you can adjust the temperature of the water to your own comfort level, and your thumb doesn't get a cramp from holding down the button on the end of the sprayer thinggy. Alone. He in his room, me in mine. Alone. Get it?( A Hollywood shower now days may have a different meaning). We would change, and hit the beach. We always went somewhere cultural - a historic sight or museum, so we could write home with perfect honesty about visiting a foreign land actually seeing some of it. We found out early on that you should go to a fancy restaurant for lunch, not dinner. It costs about 1/2 of what the same food costs at dinner time, and you stand a better chance of meeting an available young lady. At dinner time it is all couples on dates, but at lunch/early afternoon it is a different crowd. And you don't have the wait for a table. Also, do not drink at a restaurant. I vividly remember a couple of RC div'ers in France that ordered a pizza and a bottle of wine. The check arrived- $5.00 for the Pizza, $150.00 for the wine. The worst French waiter knows you don't serve a fine wine with a budget meal, but he took advantage of our shipmates big time. They had no choice, but to pay up. So, lunch at a fancy restaurant and sight seeing and shopping. Wholesome activities that you could tell your kid sister about and send her the souvenir cork carving of a Temple in outer, eastern, upper Sasckatuwan or whatever. May 11, 1986, we ate our lunch at a place that was in the shadow of the Coliseum, in Rome, the eternal city. As an appetizer the waiter brought us fresh bread, salad, and this disgusting looking slimy, oblong, white thing about the size of a baseball. We both looked at it a while and figured what the hell. It turned out to be fresh mozzarella cheese. It was wonderful. Some of our shipmates would never have worked up the nerve to try it, it looked that unappetizing - like the guy in RT that while in Hong Kong, ate at the Burger King every meal. No sense of adventure. Bob and I went native with the food everywhere we went. Our last stop for our Roman excursion was the Vatican, where we did indeed run into KP - I think we were waiting for the elevator up to the top of Saint Peter's Basilica-and KP turned on the charm with a couple of girls from London. We rode up alone! I had purchased a very good 35 mm Canon camera and was taking pictures to last a life time. Or so I thought. Time to get back to the train station to catch the last train back to Naples, we were running late so we pile into a Taxi and "enjoy" the ride to the station. I was in the front seat, so I jumped out and made to pay the driver. I hand him what money I had in my pocket and turned to the others to get the rest. My mates had run like rabbits into the station to get tickets and I could not catch them. Problem solved because the Taxi driver roared away in a cloud of exhaust. I took maybe 3 steps and realized I did not have my bag with me. It had extra camera lenses, film ( new and exposed), a towel - a la Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy- some souvenirs and my Wallet. I ran after that bloody taxi for 3 blocks trying to get his plate or number or something. I returned to the station and made a complaint to a policeman. And then I heard the call for the train to Naples. I ran down to the platform and searched the first 4 cars for somebody, anybody I knew. No luck. The train starts to pull out and I am standing there without a dime on me. No ID, no friends, and no hope of making the boat in Naples in time for End of Liberty at midnight. All I have on me is a Pope Paul bottle opener in one pocket, a hankie, and the camera that is around my neck. I'm FUCKED. Good and FUCKED. And I don't speak the language. As I walk away from the train I hear a voice say "What's the matter, man." I told my story to this complete stranger as I watch the end of the train slowly move past me. I do not know his name, or where he is from - England I think, I do not know if I even looked at him because I cannot recall his face -- and you would think I should remember this one. The total stranger handed me 200 lira, and gave me a push "Better catch that train, son." I ran down the platform and jumped onboard the last car with feet to spare. 200 lira was way more than enough for the ticket to Naples. As I sat there rolling thru the Italian country side I wondered if my guardian angel liked to make me sweat. That was a close one. Thank you stranger, whoever you may be. I cannot tell you the trouble I would have been in if you had not the generous spirit that you did that day in Rome. May God bless you. He did me.

TTFN The Ol' BSer


KP Note: Settle down, Stay Puff ... I never said you did anything... I only alluded to the fact that you and VW never talked about what happened afterwards and that was very suspicious. Especially when VW would smile and say he wasn't at liberty to discuss the events owing to the lack of virtue and impurity of all those involved. 

My memory is a wee bit rusty ... but I do recall being with you after that cab drove off with your camera bag. I left a souvenir Vatican plate in that cab as well and I think I ran with you as the bugger drove off. But I certainly didn't ditch you at the station ... or did I? I cannot remember. Perhaps that is why you weren't on the train (I'm totally trying to fire off the brain synapses here) when our EE30 pal was given the Royal Roman Romp in the train agua-loo.

I'm confused. Is that really you getting an award ... spic and span with a haircut and clean uniform? This some kind of photo shop thing, right? 

That was pretty uncool of you to ditch Hudson..... None of us ever did that (I'm trying to hide my face so you won't see me laughing).

P-Moojification of The Nation

Big Head Todd and the Monsters came to town and who did they call to open for them? The P-Mooj of course. I guess all the good bands were busy that night. Anyway, it was the real deal, major league rock n' roll type concert before a sell out crowd. Our very own Kid Pillow was in town that night and was an official member of the P-Mooj posse and got to hang with us backstage sipping gratis beer. Not a bad way to waste a Wednesday night.... 

Please accept this free download as my gift to you.

Let's Venture Together to Page 56! 

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