Page 3 started July
Letters, Random Memories
and Assorted Sea Stories (Cont.)
Working For The MAA
Many nukes were put on the "Limit List" thanks to the
1986 2A s/g inspection job. Since they had to surrender their TLDs
for the remaining quarter many were sent TAD to the ship's Master at
Arms (MAA). I remember one of my pals told me it was terrible
being in the MAA because everyone up there was such a lifer. The
nukes, however, didn't give a shit about law and order and were a
thorn in the side of the MAA senior chief. For example, the nukes
refused to give out "speeding tickets," those awful
haircut/uniform violation chits that the MAA loved to give people. The MAA senior chief got so pissed off that he
finally ordered the nukes to write at least five chits a day. He
stopped this requirement when the nukes began writing their quota of
tickets for "not speaking English on a U.S. navy warship,"
something that was actually required in some regulation somewhere. The
MAA senior chief was a Filipino and many of his fellow Philippine
Nationals were the ones getting the speeding tickets.
Some More M-Div Stories From 3-plant's
I've been racking my brain for stories and finally came up with
another one – or two....
#1) Port Call, Seattle, Washington for Sea Fair.
On the first day in port the liberty uniform was dress whites.
Whatever it took to cross the brow right? A group of us went out on
the town, got ourselves a hotel room and immediately changed into
our civies so that we could blend in and feel somewhat human. Then
we split up to recon the town for nice places to eat, drink and
relax. While checking out the waterfront the EM23 LPO and I ended up
at Pier 70, where there was a nice bar/club type establishment right
on the water. We placed this at the top of our list to return to
later that day as the bar was hosting a "party" for the
Big E Crew and any local women that dared to show up. To our
disappointment the place was packed with officers when we returned
with the rest of the group that evening. Several of the officers
(who we didn’t know) tried to intimidate us into leaving the club
by telling us that Pier 70 was off-limits to enlisted personnel and
that we were intruding on an "officer only" private party.
We regrouped outside the bar at the end of the pier. We were all
bummed since each of us had encountered an officer who made it
perfectly clear that we weren't welcome. Putting our heads together
we hatched a plan that would end up putting these jerks into the
difficult position of being out of uniform in public. A sympathetic
waitress served us several rounds out on the pier while the
"zeros" inside continued to fuel up. Many were dancing and
really getting into the scene inside the club. Just after dark we
sprung into action. Two at a time we entered and made our way onto
the dance floor. We would target an officer who was dancing with his
uniform combination cap on. One of us would create a distraction by
either trying to "cut in" on a dance or by asking the
"zero" some stupid question, like: "Hey are you in
the Navy?" or "What ship you from?" The guy creating
the distraction would stand between the target officer and the
backdoor of the bar. Once the distraction was initiated the second
man on the team would come up behind the target officer and push him
into the guy creating the distraction, then grab the combination cap
off the officers head, run out the backdoor and then chuck it into
Puget Sound! The thrower would then run around to the front door and
re-enter the bar and team up with a different 3 plant M-Div'er and
do it all over again. I don't know how many hats we swiped off the
dance floor but the grand finale was a sweep of as many unattended
hats left on tables and in the booths that the 6 of us could get
hold of. How we didn't get caught I'll never know. None of the
P.Os involved ever heard of any officers making any report of the incident or ever heard of anyone getting into trouble for being without
#2) When I got to EM23 during the 1986 Westpac 3 planters were
known as "the Elite." Word had it that sometime prior,
3MMR was in the worst material condition of any of the plants due to
high drug use among the m-div'ers assigned there. Things were
supposedly so bad that 3 Main couldn’t even answer full bells
since many of the Leslie's didn't work in auto, only 2 of the 3
mcp's were working at anyone time and the same for the mfp's
(plus the mfp's couldn't run in auto and had to be run manually). A
major purge took place in the workcenter and a crew was handpicked
to restaff it with the task of getting all the equipment up and
running again. During the '86 Pac EM-23 was so "elite"
that they didn't even have an LCPO. Those duties were left to MM1
Jagusch. MM1 was given total control of the WC by the DO, Lt. Cusick.
While the rest of M-div was on 4-8's we were on 4-20's, except SAPs, who were on 4-8's until they qual'ed LL. There were no
"workdays." Each day a work list would be posted and the
tasks would be completed by the watchstanders. The rest of the day
was yours but you were expected to use some of that
"off-time" to work on quals. MM1 and the LT were major BS
filters for us and I imagine that they took a lot of heat from the
MPA and ChEng for not running the most military of workcenters but
their handpicked group got 3MMR up and running and was the best of
the 4 MMRs on the Enterprise. After MM1 Left the pig for parts
unknown (I think he went to Idaho to be an instructor) we were given
a real LCPO in the Form of MMCM (SW) Otto! We had heard nothing but
horror stories about what a lifer this guy was and that he was
gonna do this and that to EM23 to try and make us all a bunch of
lifer clones. The threats made everyone nervous but in reality when
he came to EM23 he saw that there wasn't much to fix as far as the
plant went and he wasn't going to change anyone's mind about the
Navy so he just let us be. As long as we did our jobs and kept the
heat off him there was never a problem. EM23 for the most part had
some really great men to work for and with: Frog, Reaper, Smitty,
Pedro M, BTCB, Scott M from NYC, Dave D from somewhere near Boston,
Spaceman Dave S, Chumley, Mousy, Buck, Bowman. Also old timers like
Avatar, Burford, Rick Van N and many more. I hope all are doing
My wife can't understand why I hate roast beef! Every time
she serves it I mumble, "RBA (Roast Beef Again)." I
wonder if today's Big E sailors are getting fed roast beef every
other night like we did back in the old days.
Working for the MAA (Part II):
My pal Terry Hickey (RE02) had to do a brief stint in the MAA
between the 86 and 88 cruises.
Every once in a while he'd come down to the RE office for a visit
and relate a funny tale or two. There were a couple of stories
that he told us that were funny as hell. One was about the
time he was standing guard at a captain's mast. It was hard
for Terry to keep a straight face during this mast since the vast
majority of people being non-judicially punished were complete
morons--and they all seemed to make things worse for themselves by
telling the old man pathetic sob stories. One unlucky
fellow was up before the CO on drug charges. He swore to
the captain that he had never done drugs in his life. He then
went on to say that he had never even seen a drug in his life.
When the captain asked him where he was from he said: "Detroit,
sir." The whole bridge broke out in laughter and the guy
pretty much knew his goose was cooked.
Another story Terry
told us was about how one night he and his partner were standing
watch on the after brow. Like good MAAs they did their duty
and randomly selected bags and packages of people entering and
leaving the ship
to search for contraband. That night they noticed a
squid exiting the ship carrying what appeared to be an extremely heavy sea
bag. Most alarming of all was the sea bag was dripping blood. Terry and his partner stopped the man and asked him what
he had in the sea bag. The fellow became very suspicious and
told them it was nothing. Terry and his partner then told the
man to drop the bag and open it. Inside they found a dozen or
so frozen turkeys that had been stolen from the mess (it was a few
days before Thanksgiving and the ship had just received its
allotment of turkeys). Terry told me that he thought for sure the guy
had a dead body in there.
Another RM22 Veteran:
Great site! Sorry not to see anybody from my vintage, but I guess it's just too much to expect them to be computer literate, when
they were barely literate to begin with. Please add my name to the Alum list:
I know a few more that may be interested and will fwd your URL.
May even send some pictures from WESTPAC if I ever get them scanned.
The Torrid Tale of Fireman "O'sleeze."
Some Of You M-Div'ers Out There Should Remember This One.
Just prior to the Adventures at Hunters Point (part II, i.e.,
post westpac 1986) EM23 picked up some conventional MM
strikers. One was FN "O’sleeze." This guy was
something else. Him and a bunch of other conventionals (and sadly a
few nukes) got hooked up with a transsexual who used to hang out at
a bar on Webster Street in Alameda. More than a few of these guys
were fooled and I remember several fights in M-Div Berthing over who
had won this thing's heart. O’sleeze was almost always on
restriction for one thing or another and he and one of his running
buddies were vying for the Trans. Right around Christmas both of
these knuckleheads got put on restriction and couldn't leave the
ship. O’sleeze was never one to let restriction stand in his way
so he left the ship in search of his true love, found it and then
returned to the Pig with it in tow. Somehow he got back on board
with it and some alcohol and the two proceeded to make up for lost
time partying in M-Div berthing. One thing led to another and they
moved into the M-Div Head and showers, where O'sleeze let the Trans
shave his pubes off and give him a bj while another deviant either
photographed or videotaped the whole thing. Then the Trans stripped
off its clothes at which point the ugly truth was dropped on both
guys like a ton of bricks—their true love was really a
dude! All hell broke loose and the MAAs had to respond to
deal with the situation. Once word got around that "she"
was a "he" there were a lot of naive sailors who weren't
making eye contact with anyone for a long time afterwards....Talk
about a "Crying Game!!!!"
O’sleeze was something else. He was from the Bay Area and he
had another sweetheart (who really was a girl) who lived in the
Central Valley around Modesto. O’sleeze didn't have a car but he
had a little Honda or Yamaha scooter similar to a Vespa that he used
for transportation. This guy was so nuts that he would commute from
Alameda to Modesto to see this girl on his friggin scooter. I
remember seeing the guy return (late for muster as usual) during the
winter months and he was BLUE from the cold after riding that
scooter for 2-3 hours!!! As if unsafe sex and long commutes on a
scooter weren’t bad enough for the guy’s body he would use
whatever drug was available to him at the time. His rack was on the
same aisle as mine and during an at-sea period I started smelling
the odor of rotting fruit. I checked all the racks in the area and
when I got to O’sleeze’s (he had a top rack) I found he had a
piece of string strung the length of his rack. Hanging on the string
where a bunch of banana skins in the process of turning black. I
asked O’sleeze what was up and his was response was the refrain
form and old song, "They call it Mellow Yellow!" I had no
idea what the hell he was talking about so I asked him to explain. O’sleeze
told me that he was drying the banana skins and that he planned on
grinding them up to smoke. He said that the high was better than PCP
and that he needed something to help him get through the day.
Ultimately O’sleeze missed a movement after being UA because
someone stole his beloved scooter and he was stranded in SF. He
ended up being sent to the BRIG at Treasure Island for all his
misdeeds/misfortunes for quite a while. When he got out he returned
to the Pig to get his belongings and to start hunting for his
story of FN O'sleeze makes one wonder if the poor lad was a victim
of heredity or a product of his environment. I tend to think
it was a little of both since I recall a similar thing happening a
year or two later in a barracks that was housing M-Div while M-Div
berthing was being refurbished. (Except it
involved a captain's daughter instead of a transvestite.)
Reading about O'sleeze above reminded me of another conventional
M-Div'er named FN Frank Ma__va. It's a pretty sordid tale but
I'll tell it to you anyway (since you all have pretty much come to
expect that by now anyway).
a nuke on the Pig meant that you pretty much interacted with the
cream of the crop, as far as squids went. Our only real
exposure to "dumbfucks" usually occurred during GQ, when most of
us had to serve in repair lockers that were manned for the most part
E-Div's Bob Vanwaganon ("VW") and I were the only two
nukes assigned to Repair Locker 77, which was located up near
the forecastle. Also assigned to this locker was a random sampling
of the ship's finest, including a guy named FN Ma__va. He was an A-Ganger, I
believe. I could tell you dozens of stories about this guy but
life is short so I'll limit it to two:
during REFTRA '87 we were all sitting around the repair locker bored
to tears (if you recall during REFTRA we could be at GQ for hours a
day, sometimes numerous time per day). As usual, VW and I
entertained ourselves by engaging FN M in a deep
conversation. Somehow FN M revealed to us the name of his
girlfriend. Immediately I said something, like "Not
her name was]?" I then repeated everything he told me
about her to convince him that I knew her. VW did the
same. FN M asked us how we knew his girlfriend and we told him that we met
her at the E-club a few weeks prior and had sex with her. He was
pretty upset by this and his anger grew worse as every other guy in the
locker came forward to reveal that they, too, were among the large
group of men that had sex with her on that particular night. (We were of course
fooling and thought that FN M was smart enough to know that but I
guess he wasn't.) After REFTRA we pulled into San
Diego for a few days and then head back out to sea. During our
very next GQ FN M told us all that while in SD he called his
girlfriend and asked her if she had slept with a bunch of
guys from the Pig. He then told us that we were all probably
mistaken because his girlfriend told him that the group of guys she left the E-club with
sex with was from the Carl Vinson not the Enterprise. (He was dead serious!)
FN M also had a
real bad case
of acne. As usual VW and I engaged him in a meaningless
conversation one GQ and asked him if he was suffering from stress. We
then told him that stress may be the cause of his acne and then
asked him how often he masturbated, explaining to him that it was a great
way to relax. This idiot actually thought that we were medically
trained or something and so he revealed to us that he was pretty active in
that regard. VW and I then told him that his current activity wasn't enough to relieve
the kind of stress that he was suffering from and suggested that he
increase his manual output by at least 3 or 4 more times per day. He
seemed to buy that. Then, for whatever reason, VW told him
that he had just read in The New England Journal of Medicine that
spreading some of the "byproduct" of his labor on his face
would also help clear up his acne. FN M just sat there nodding and seemed to
think it sounded legitimate. After that GQ we pulled back into
Alameda and didn't return to sea for another month or so. Our
very next GQ we noticed that FN M's acne had completely cleared
up. He proudly informed us that he took our advice and that it
had actually worked!
Sadly, there is no happy ending to the FN
M story. This guy's fate was pretty much that of O'sleeze's.
Except that poor FN M was totally innocent of the evil deed that he
(and his gang of cohorts) were charged with committing. The
poor guy was just in the wrong place at the wrong time. Even
after all the "civil" charges were dropped against him he
was still hammered UCMJ style and I
think even given a BCD (or as they used to say, Big Chicken Dinner).
More 70s Flashbacks:
DEAR FORMER E-SAILORS,
MY NAME IS MIKE GUNN AND I WAS IN REA-3 WITH JIM SUTTON FROM 1971 TO 1975.
REMEMBER AT ALL TIMES THAT ANYTHING HE SAYS ABOUT ME OR THAT IS IN THE THREE-PLANT DOPEY BOOK IS NOT TRUE.
I DID INHALE BUT I NEVER SMOKED.
OH! OH! Olongapo!
It's hard to imagine what a WESTPAC would be like without
Olongapo. I guess it will be like General Mac's old soldier,
"PO Town" will never die (in the minds of those that experienced
it), it will just fade away. It will only exist in the Old Salts
stories and then, one day, another tradition will cease to exist at
The early '70's to this three-plant nuke meant new friends and
new experiences. From the Vietnam War and the incessant Tonkin Gulf
line cruises, Hong Kong, Singapore, Mombassa and of course Subic Bay
and Olongapo City. I know there was nothing in my life, in anyway,
prepared me for that first visit to PO town. My first taste came
even before I set foot on the "E". In the fall of 1971 a
whole gaggle of us newbie Nukes landed at Clark AFB after a long
flight from the States. They herded us on a bus and transported us
to Subic where some of us were to catch the "E". But
the old girl had already left port because of bad weather. So, we
got put up in a couple of Quonset Huts in the middle of nowhere
until the storms passed and transport could be arranged. The
accommodations really sucked, but you couldn't beat the duty. Our
only requirement was to make Muster @ 0800 every morning. (Though I
did have to stand a couple of 4 hr. watches in the time we were
there). Anyway, we hit PO town long and hard (may not be the best
choice of words) with our only parameters being curfew at 0000 and
Muster at 0800. Well, it didn't take me long to fall for the
"charms" of the city. I was single and the proverbial:
Young, Dumb, and full of ...did I say dumb? A Nukie puke and a Snipe
to boot. Yes, yes, I know, I was really full of myself. Now, some of
the OLD Salts will remember that in 1971, Martial Law had yet to be
declared in the P.I. and PO City was at it's wildest and woolliest.
The bars had guards at the doors and they were armed to the teeth.
They made sure no one screwed with their patrons and girls, and it
kinda made you want to not screw with them. None of this deterred us
in our quest for San Miguel and those sweet little honey-kos. For
sure, not everyone took part in all of the town’s offerings. I
mean, they were a few who had morals, commitments, or just more
common sense than the rest of us. But for my new found steam'n
buddies and myself, it was party hardy and full steam'n ahead, off
the streets by Midnight, muster at 8, then start it all over again.
Of course, all good things must come to an end. They finally loaded
us on board the USS Kilauea to start our transport to the
"E". A few days later and a Helo ride put me on my home
for the next 4+ yrs. We made a number of stops at different ports
over those 4 years, but I still enjoyed Subic and Olongapo the most.
(I think the others were too civilized). With the on base facilities
at Subic and the diverse offerings of Olongapo (17 pesos to the
dollar did not hurt none) it had to be the best steam'n port there
ever was. I am attaching the politically correct description of
Olongapo City put out by the ship for the newbies (Circa 1974). It
of course got pasted in Ye Olde Dopey Book. Later..........JS--- 3
P.S. I noticed that another old pal from 3 Plant has come aboard,
Mike Gunn. Just received his e-mail. Great to hear from him. He's a
Good Old Salt. And YOU CAN believe that!!
I had the pleasure of being the 2 Plant LCPO coming out of the overhaul at Newport News
until Jan 97 when I retired. I specifically lobbied for this position, not much resistance... no one wanted it! "TWO" Plant remained, true to their heritage, "Miss-fits" even up
to that time. It did not escape me that "TWO" plant was the dumping ground of the
"uncontrollable." What everyone else failed to realize was that we were uncontrollable because we were a vast pool of "The Best" to be had and we came with attending
opinions. Well, I was a Chief, so maybe... probably... my opinions were not
mirrored by all in TWO Plant, but, on the whole... having the entire balance of the ship's "Brightest Nuclear Operators" in one plant, we couldn't fail! TWO Plant set the
standard for reliability, even if cleanliness was sometimes lagging and I have to admit, I enjoyed arguing with Captain Dull. I would
greatly appreciate you adding my name and email address to your web page. In my own defense, I would like to point out that I
made Chief in seven years and didn't budge an inch farther in 21 years, despite having every button possible pushed, I was
opinionated. I am proud to be a TWO planter and feel I belonged there by nature.
William "Bill" J. Ferrin
P.S. I am now the Plant Manager (Chief...ha ha, ok call me names and put me in your bitch-book) of a Plastic Injection Molding
Facility in Waco Texas, Nuclear Power ----> Flower Pots.... go figure!
The RC14 Stud (a.k.a., Steve O.)
In the '87 RE dopey book I saw mention of a certain incident that
took place in the chaplain's office during the 1987 workups. I
had totally forgotten about this and I'm sure many of my fellow 4
planters probably did too. RC14, like most work centers, had
its very own stud. You know, the guy that was full of stories
about how successful he was with the ladies and such. Every
morning this guy would enlighten his fellow tweekers with his latest
conquest. No one doubted this guy since he was always seen in
public with the best looking girls Alameda had to offer. Then
one day he was gone. He was "removed from the ship"
after being discovered by the MAA in the chaplain's office
performing what was described in the official report as
"Smoking A Big Cuban Cigar." The cigar belonged to
the chaplain's assistant (who was Cuban by the way). According
to the MAA they heard "strange noises coming out of the
chaplain's office very early in the morning." When they
used their pass key to investigate they spotted the RC14
"stud" doing his
Just like RC14, RE04 also had its very own "stud."
Looking through the 87 RE04 Dopey Book you probably noticed several
cartoons about a certain person we all affectionately referred to as
"Goldylocks" Fuller (or sometimes "King Cajun"
or "Fireman" Fuller). This guy was a classic and I would
love to find him again. Fuller was a disciple of Don Foster
(schooled in the Hunter’s Point dry dock) and thought that he,
too, was the master of the scam. He also thought that he was God’s
gift to women-kind. These two personality traits provided RE04 (and
RX Dept. as a whole) with endless hours of entertainment. "Goldylock’s"
most successful scam was pulled off during the Alameda SRA. Somehow
Fuller convinced our chief that he was suffering from a "heart
condition." To back this claim up Fuller produced
"documentation" from the base hospital that stipulated
that he could never be exposed to any strenuous activity whatsoever.
Our chief was furious because Fuller was a notorious no load and
this "heart condition" thing made it so that Fuller couldn’t
even lift a broom! Fuller even went so far as to arrive each morning
for muster with a portable EKG monitor hooked up to himself (I swear
to God this is true!). So while all the rest of us were bustin’
our humps during the ’87 SRA, Fuller was skating.
One day our chief got word that Fuller was "spotted"
leaving the ship in civilian clothes on a duty day without his heart
monitor. The chief called the hospital to find out once and for
all what was going on. It was then that the chief learned that the
hospital had never even heard of Fuller. And worst of all, "the doctor" that had supposedly signed all those
"light duty chits" didn’t even exist! The gig was up!
Combining this crime with countless others Fuller was scheduled for
his first ever captain’s mast. The day before Fuller was to go
before the old man he went to the chaplain and admitted to being a
homosexual. (This was back in the old days when being a homosexual
in the navy actually meant something.) Fuller was of course given a
general discharge and walked away scot-free. Everyone knew that Fuller
wasn’t gay and that he was just scamming to save his butt and get
out of the navy. And it worked! Moral in Rx Dept. was so low
at the time that literally dozens of others seized upon the golden
opportunity that Fuller presented them with and tried to do the same
thing. But the chaplain quickly wised up. I remember hearing one
story where the chaplain got so pissed off at a would-be "out
of the closet" revealer that he told the confessor: "Oh
yeah…if your so gay then suck my [omitted]!" To which
the would-be confessor said: "I can’t sir. I don’t love
Believe it or not Fuller actually returned to the Pig a few years
later during the ’88 SRA working for Mare Island (Code 105).
(An RE04 Dopey Book tribute to the departing
… I Just saw your 8502B picture. I wish I could find mine.
Seeing McGinty brought back some vague memories. Tell us about how
he got the name "1S Bus." Remember in Naples when we were
messing with the Wad and "1S," telling them we were going
to go to "the Gut" or "Little Chicago"? How
about the crazy lady at the bar who went nuts when you asked her to
compare and contrast "Il Duce and Il Papa"?
On your Ed Note about O'sleeze, I think the captain’s daughter
was a reoccurring gang bang in the alternate m-div berthing. She had
some major drug problems (Heroin I think) and some of the guys
involved there were also using and caught holding dope when they got
Yes, I have many fond memories of Tim McGinty. He and I were in the
same nuke school class and showed up on the Pig at the same time.
went to E-Div and I went to RE. Tim earned the nickname "1S
Bus" by accidentally popping open the feeder breaker to the 1S
bus while clearing a red tag on an adjacent breaker. Somehow he
pulled too hard when he went to tear off the tag and his hand
hit the 1S trip switch. Unfortunately for Tim
the secondary feeder to the 1S bus was tagged open and so the 1S bus
was left completely de-energized. I won’t say what critical loads
were/are on the 1S bus but they’re important, especially during
flight ops. Poor McGinty had the misfortune of killing power to most
of the vital loads on the island, including the ship’s radar systems.
When the radar was re-energized the pig lost contact with some of
the jets that were aloft. The captain was so pissed that he ordered
poor McGinty disqualified and barred from the plants indefinitely.
It was a total accident and everyone in EE30 felt terrible about
what happened—especially since Tim had only been down the shop
for a few days. McGinty was banished to the projector shop for a
long time until he was forgiven and allowed to finally set foot in
the plants again.
I can’t remember "the gut" story. I only remember
that the place was deemed "off limits" when we pulled into
Naples so most went there. I do, however, remember that crazy lady at The Red Lantern.
When we hit the beach in Naples we had a hell of time finding a bar.
This was our first liberty port in the Med and so we were used to
places like Olongapo, where it wasn’t too hard to
find a bar. After wandering through alleys and filthy streets for
about an hour we
happened upon this place called The Red Lantern. The place was a
dive and the women in there all smelled like goats. But we had been
at sea for nearly 6 weeks and so we didn’t care. Since we were
naive 7th fleet veterans we didn’t understand how
things worked in the 3rd fleet, and that the women in
these bars weren’t "hooks," like their far eastern
counterparts, but "crooks." Their only game was to
get you to buy as many drinks for them as possible. When you were
out of money they were done with you. Well, we fell for it and were
suckered into a small back room of The Red Lantern with two of the
bar girls. I couldn’t help but notice that every drink I bought
for my girl was poured under the table after she pretended to take a
few sips. Then the champagne arrived and the waiter wanted $50. That
was our clue that we were being soaked. We got up and left—minus
quite a few Lira. Well, as hard as we tried we couldn’t find
another bar in Naples that was any better than The Red Lantern and so we
returned there often. But we were wise to the ways of the bar girls
and figured we got our money’s worth by fucking with them. (Like,
while one guy sat drinking with one of these crooked bar girls the
other one would secretly keep refilling her glass of wine with his beer. The
girl kept spilling generous portions of her glass and the level
never went down.)
Another random thought about McGinty just popped into my
head. Remember how we used to always tell him he looked just
like Elvis? Of course he didn't and it used to totally piss
him off that people would think that he looked like Elvis when he
didn't. When we were in Naples I remember we paid a bunch of
local kids to run up to him and scream, "Elvis!" Tim
got pissed. It was
actually quite a running joke for years on the Pig to tell McGinty
that he looked like Elvis since it always made him erupt with such
Ronald McDonald Fuller
Hey, what's the story behind the Ronald McDonald "disco
beating" cartoon in the RE04 dopeybook?
|For some reason "Goldylocks"
thought it would be more to his advantage to be blond so he dyed his hair; however, instead of turning blond it turned bright
orange. Later that day he had the
further misfortune of being punched in the mouth at the
Burger King on Webster Street for making a lewd (or
otherwise tasteless) remark to a woman whose husband was
nearby. Cajun Goldylocks was actually a pretty good sport
about the dopey book slam and thought it was funny. I
feel sorry for anyone who never met Fuller. He is
without a doubt one of my most memorable shipmates.
Can’t Stop Laughing!
|Great to hear from you
Mike! I haven’t heard from you in over 10
years. Mike and I were great friends and had some
great laughs together.
Another Old Friend....
Ran into Andy Pullam (at work) and he gave me a copy of your
e-mail to him. I spent about two hours going through the stories on
the web site, mostly laughing my ass off remembering them. Just to
clear one story up: yes stinger did do [what was alleged]. I
was at club Bambi that day and was the first, and only, I think,
person he admitted what he did to. We gave him grief for about two
years before he finally admitted to it to everyone in the plant. For
the list my e-mail address is firstname.lastname@example.org. For the stats: 4 plant
RM 85-91 and 2 plant M 96-00, yes 10 full years of self abuse.
Currently on my twilight tour at NPTU Charleston Repair Department.
I am currently stuck at E-7 (something about a chainfall, a nub, a
can of spray glue, and a congressional inquiry will keep me there,
no regrets though). Later,
|Hey Chris, great to hear from
you! You and I must have stood a thousand watches
together! I’m going to rely on you to send in some stories
about RM14, (since you boys were always up to no good).
I fondly remember all the "booby traps" you and
Stinger set for me down in RAR LL. You'd have me paged
there and I'd get drenched when I came down to
investigate. Your most ingenious one was a water
bucket that was placed inside a big vent. You guys
told me it wasn't working so I climbed up and pulled it down
to see inside and got soaked. I'd love to find Tom
Carney, Barry Cox, J.R. Bailey, "Gibby," Shelmire,
Bellville, Crete, T.C. "Spuds
McKenzie" Manry, Karl Pfaff and all the others that
were on our watch team during the '88 and '90 cruises.
Does anyone know the
whereabouts of these guys?
Welcome to Another Old Shipmate
First of all, thanks a lot for keeping this site. As much as we
hated it at the time, some of our best memories and best friends are
from the Big E.
I am Jeff Curry. I was in RM11 from 1983-1987 and RM23 from
I just want to corroborate the story about the bottle of nitrous
oxide, which was stolen from Dental and brought down to One Plant.
It had been a pretty boring watch, but that all changed when that
bottle came down. We were filling up those huge hefty bags with the
gas and distributing them to the watchstanders. It was great. I am
pretty sure that a bag ended up in EOS. I thought it was so
ingenious, how they rigged up the adapter from the big bottles in
Dental, to the small bottle they brought down. Also, the audacity of
the whole thing was great. I don't know what happened to that
bottle, but I was the unlucky stiff on watch when the old pop-can
cannon was found by Skelitor during a zone inspection. It had been
hidden up in Control Equipment, way back in the I-beams. I remember
the time that Woody has fooling around with it. He was making these
great big balls of masking tape and shooting them around. He would
fill the thing with butane and ignite it. It was pretty neat. Once,
he filled it up big-time and then anchored it against his stomach.
There was a huge boom and then Woody is lifting his shirt. There was
a big red circle, where the recoil of the cannon had impressed the
outline of the pop can into Woody's generous belly. It was
hilarious, especially if you remember Woody.
I can also solve the mystery of the Candyman (Don Foster). Some
of you might remember, shortly into the '88 Cruise, I broke my right
arm while arm-wrestling in the plant. Ironically, it was probably
the best thing that ever happened to me. It steered me away from a
possible lifer career, since I was unable to make my next billet as
a career counselor in San Diego. Anyway, back to the story. After
staying in Olongapo for 2 weeks on medical hold, and passing up
another 6 months there (I was already broke!), I was sent to
Treasure Island until they could find a job for me. While I was
there I was walking to the cafeteria and who should say hi to me but
the legendary Candyman! I couldn't believe my eyes. We spoke for a
couple of minutes. He had turned himself in to the Navy, so he could
do his time and put it behind him. Even though he was in some pretty
deep s**t, he seemed more at peace with himself than I had ever saw
him. I remember hearing stories about his paranoia, which was very
understandable, considering the activities he was involved in. He
would stand at the front door of his apartment for hours, convinced
that someone was in the hall. I don't know what he is up to now, but
I assume that he did a few years and was discharged. I hope that he
has cleaned himself up a bit.
Take it easy,
|I remember you breaking your
arm. As a result they banned "arm-wrestling"
in the plants altogether. Back during the '88 cruise
we were all doing that to pass the time and it became really
competitive. I think another guy broke his arm, too, and
that was the last straw. Glad to hear that The
Candyman turned himself in. I was actually pretty good
friends with Don and would love to hear from him again.
My Old Chief Found Me!
I will not give my name until someone IDs me. Spent 5 years on
the Big E. Sent Q and Ram off the ship during the World cruise.
Saved the "Sthol Man " from Capt.'s Mast. Was the answer
to CPO Maloney. Yes, the CPO that had his Qual cards glued to the
desk. This are the 2 biggest hints: Andy gave me the jar of venison
and let Dicko and Ram play their guitars in the office.
Hey, I know who you are…you’re none other than Chief Randy
Shackett! We sure had some great times when you, Dicko, Q and I were
manning the old RE office. Most would agree that it was
"the Golden Age of RE Div." I still owe
you big time for getting me and "the Wad" off the pig in
time to start college. Thanks for reminding me about EMC
Mahoney (I had completely erased that painful memory from my
mind). Perhaps our greatest success in RE was driving that guy
insane and getting him de-nuked. (Now that's a story!
Maybe I'll tell it when things get slow on this site.) Great
to hear from you Randy! Send in some stories. Also, now
that the cold war is over will you tell us what you and your
bubblehead pals did at The Horse and Cow bar?
Another 70s Era 4-Planter Has Found This
The "Pig E", "Tunaprise", "Floating Feces" . . . whatever you want to call if, I loved
being onboard and doing those Westpac cruises. Great people and great times. And, of course, I will always consider
Olongapo to be my hometown, as those were the streets I grew up on! I can still smell Shit River in my dreams.
Good to see some old salts from the 70's .... Sounds like you newer guys carried on the traditions very well ... proud of
ya. Trying to recall names:
RO's ...Chuck Carrier, John Cover, Gary Lawler, Heiko "Little Bud" Rommelmann, Willie "Hippo" Kreutel . . . later on
"Fat" Peterson, ? Jarzabek, Benny Chun
RM's ...James "Bull" Frick, Mac Takaki, Mike Marshall, F. Vertuca
Can only think of one EM and only his handle ... "CTG" Man, he was funny and I can't believe I can't think of his name. Long term lo level
radiation, eh? (Brian something . . . ?)
I also "steamed" in Po Town with Billy "The Mighty Thor" Malm and the infamous Bob
"l" Parker and "F" John Deardorff. Knew some of the 3 Plant Ro's well ... went thru Nuc school with Bob Strickland, Jerry
McAlpin, Richard "Vida" Abarr, Greg "Friz" Eversole, Ed Thoele and still know them 30 years down the road. Hmmm ... Ron
Barbee, Gary Brown, Stevie Rich, Wally Campbell. I remember you too Dan Loudermilk ... we just never spent any time
together ... different plants. And Kenny Higgens . . . have heard Abarr, Eversole and Mike Rhodes talk about ya ...just didn't
hang with 3 plant pukes much back then). Oh yeah, can't forget Nick Twigg !!!! He and I go way back to our first billet on the
Destroyer USS Vogelgesang. I've got a few Twiggso stories to tell !!!
(he he) I knew him when he was an E-3 and he entertained us way back then. God, we terrorized the Destroyer pier strip at Norfolk. Anyone remember C.L. "Clit" Turner ?
EM ...Training. Old timer and one of the greats who keep our moral up in the face of all the crap. Got "Clit" stories too.
Also made a few enemies . . . anybody recall Chief Born, CWO McAnus (close enough) and even Reactor George (Cdr Davis).
They didn't seem to like me. Hey ... we did a "Foot Awards" for the biggest screw-ups each week and I wonder if any of those
survived or if anyone heard of them later on. They were classic [names changed (not enough to hide)] to protect the guilty
and, of course, we concentrated on the "management." No one was safe.
Sure would like to find those old Dopeys ...The Hulk's "Thanksgiving Day Prayer" was a
classic. My first cruise was fresh out of the yards at Newport News in early 71...
headed south and rounded the horn on our way to Alameda. First ever foreign port . . . Rio de Janero in Feb during festival and
I didn't have a clue. But not to worry . . . my good bud "Hulk" took me under his wing and showed me the ropes. I can't
believe I lived to tell the tale!!! Six daze and nights of perpetual pleasure. I've never been the same. I'll work on gettin' some
stories together. Thanks for this place ... there is no way that folks who weren't there can ever imagine some of the beserker
stuff that we did back then. I can hardly believe it myself so it's good to hear that many followed in our footsteps and haven't let
SEEK YE THE GNARL !!!!!
Terry Stiemsma (Steamer, J.Jack Flash)email@example.com
RC Div RO RCO 4Plant Nov 70 - Dec 73.
More From Randy Shackett
Yes, you found me out. Mike Bowman gave me your link. This is so cool to read the stories and remember what we did. I really like the pre and
post "us" postings. Lenny Meyer's input is great. Wish that "Mad Dog" was out of jail by now to add to this.
I keep up with alot of the people from my time on the "Big E".
Will try to give some stories later. Answer me this, Do stories
about Pic's count?? Are you famous for the Nuc School Pic's or what??
|Actually, sadly, I'll always be
blamed for that picture incident--even though I was somewhat
innocent and had virtually nothing
to do with it! Everyone at NPS in 1985 knows about that
"picture incident" and my name will always be
linked to that rather sad affair. I'd name the guilty
parties but they're probably all respectable family men
(like me) these days.
Is Mad Dog really in jail?
If he is that's news to me. I remember Dicko and I
thought we'd get rich by writing a TV sitcom based on his
life. We figured we'd end every episode with him
getting slugged in the mouth...since it happened to him all
the time. Remember how he and the Stohl Man were
roommates and spent every off ship hour at Crowl's (the bar
at the far end of Webster Street)? He became their
"volunteer" bouncer and wound up getting punched
in the face almost every other night. Whatever happened to
The Stohl Man? He was destined for greatness.
Can't wait to get some of your stories...I'd love to hear
how RE Div made-do after I
left! Also, does anyone know where "Billyjack"
Harger is these days? He was my hand-picked successor;
I hope he had as much fun as FGS as I did.
Another Big E Nuke
Hi! I don't think I see a single person on this [site] that served during my
brief stint on the Big E... from 1978 to 1981. Hope to see some soon. I was
referred to this site by Jay Robinson.
RM22, 1978 to 1981
A Really Old Timer!
USS Enterprise Crew
1963 to 1967
Unit 1 Reactor Auxiliary Room
|I think Ron is the earliest Big E snipe to find this site so
far. He probably saw both 1A and 1B burn their first 100 EFPHs!
I hope Ron sends in some stories about life on the Pig, back when
everything was new (and not falling apart--as was the case when most
of us served).
More From Steamer
Hey ... just recalled another 3 plant RO ...
Eddie Kern. Had a hard time remembering his real name
as folks in 3 plant at that time all took on the name
"Boner." There was a Chief Boner or something close and for some
reason everybody decided to take the name. So I knew an Ed Boner, a Friz Boner, a Vida Boner ... etc.
Not sure how or why but that's how it came to be. Perhaps someone will
be able to give us the straight skinny. I do know that Ed was the first to pull this next trick ...We were at Bremerton in '73 for a drydock . . . Ed got a job
offer from Westinghouse or someone and they agreed to hire him on the spot for all kinds of megabucks. Well, he had a few
years left in the navy so he hatched a plan. He didn't say jack to anyone about
it but we all knew something was up when we saw him with a constant
shit-eatin' grin on his face over the next few daze. And then he was gone.
Disappeared. Later on we found out that he had told the powers
that be, although he hadn't done anything about it ... yet ..., that
he was beginning to think that he was gay. And that being around men all of the time
was beginning to bring this tendency out. Now ... back then
... this was enough to get you out and it worked ... he was gone in a matter of daze!!!! Brilliant !!!! And a total fabrication as far
as I know. Over the next 6 months or so, 2 or 3 others followed suit until
the Nav finally caught on and decided it was no longer going to be their policy.
It wasn't "don't ask, don't tell" back then ... it was more like, "We don't care ... you're not gettin' out !!!"
Here's to Eddie for original thinking !!!!
That Jar of Venison On Randy's Desk......
Cool, glad Randy found his way to this site. He's probably got tons of stories if he can find time to post. I remember when he
left he was supposedly going to eat the venison, but when the day came he was like, "are you an idiot or
something?" and tossed the jar in the trash. :-)
|I remember that jar of Venison
sat on Randy's desk for over a year. He told all of us
he would eat it on his last day. I guess he never did.
Gorman Comes Face to Face with "Mr. Happy"
Back during the '84 westpac, during the heat of the I.O., I and
several of my RM buddies never wore skivvies. This probably had as
much to do with our belief that we were such hot studs as well as
the heat. One day the drill team came down and ran a "fire in
the Decon Storage Room" drill. I had just convinced myself that
they weren't coming and had puffed up a big one when the call went
out. As CRAO, I hauled ass from feed control to the RAR, and
"put out" the fire. This was the point where the radcon
drills always broke down while the ELT's discussed what to do next.
Since the RAR watch (I think it was Pat Crowley), the Watch Supe (I
think it was John Torrey) and I were all "Potentially
Contaminated" we had to strip our dungarees off and stand
around in our skivvies. I did mention that I didn't have any on,
didn't I? This was embarrassing enough, but next thing I know the
R.O. (a serious guy named Gorman) comes down to observe the drill.
He missed seeing me on the way into the RAR, but on the way out, he
was looking behind him as he climbed the ladder, and when he turned
around he came face to face with "Mr. Happy." The next day
a new standing order came out stating that all watchstanders will
wear undershorts. This led my bud Dan Edick to leave a pair in his
steaming locker, and he would refuse to see the Drill Team member or
the supposed "problem" he was setting up until he had put
his shorts on. I don't think Danny ever forgave me for that!
During workups we often pulled into San Diego for quick 2- or
3-day port calls. On one of those long ago SD visits a bunch of us
REs took a trip south of the border and commenced to drink away the
afternoon in Tijuana. Back in those days there was an 8:00 p.m.
curfew for all servicemen in Mexico. Toward the end of the day part
of our group split off and returned north while Jeff Rich, "Big
Dave" Conklin, "Goldylocks" Fuller (plus a few
others, who I can’t recall) and I remained in TJ. It was nearing
7:00 p.m. when I suggested that we, too, head back to the border but
Big Dave thought that was a stupid idea since, in his opinion, we
still had plenty of drinking time left. In those days Tijuana was a
marginally safe place as long as you avoided the local "Mexican
only" bars in the alleys or on the side streets off the main
drag. Big Dave decided to try one of those "out of the
way" bars and we reluctantly followed him inside. Big Dave—as
most of you remember—was big! Really big! We stayed as
close to him as possible as we walked into the bar and sat down. It
was just like that scene in the movie Three Amigos, when the
"gringos" entered the desperado Mexican bar and the music
stopped and everyone looked at them. Big Dave found a nice looking
senorita standing around and asked her to dance while the rest of us
tried to look as inconspicuous as possible. Within seconds two
"rough-looking" Mexican guys came over and told us to
leave the bar immediately (while showing us that they had
switchblade knives). We quickly walked over to Big Dave and told him
that we really needed to go but Dave wanted to finish his beer
first. When the Mexican guys saw that we were with Big Dave (or as
the natives said, Davido muy grande) they walked away and sat
back down at the bar. As long as Dave felt things were cool we didn’t
worry. I can’t remember exactly what happened next but Big Dave
realized we were in danger and told us to run and we did—as fast as our gringo legs could carry
us. We were chased through the alley and bottles flew at us
(shattering on the walls near our heads) as we turned the corner and
headed north. We ran all the way to the border and crossed at exactly
7:59. It was then that we discovered that our pal "Goldylocks"
was missing. We figured the poor guy was either caught by the
Mexicans or stopped at the border for a curfew violation. We waited
around on the US side of the border for about an hour and then
decided to return to the ship without him. We walked for a few miles
and then got on one of those trolleys that ran from the border to
downtown SD. On that trolley we found "Goldylocks"
asleep and wrapped up in one of those colorful Mexican
blankets. (I think he was also wearing a big sombrero.) We
rousted Fuller out of his drunken slumber and asked him what
happened. He had no idea.
Nukes were always getting into to trouble down in TJ. I remember the
"thumb rule" was to always wear a nice pair of shoes. This was because if you were arrested the cops
all your money and you needed the shoes to bribe your way
out of jail. The Big E chiefs always had to go down to Mexico during
our SD visits to
bail guys out of jail (and usually for ridiculously low bail
amounts). I think one guy’s bail was only 50 cents but since
the cops stole all his money he was screwed and the bail might as
well have been for thousands of dollars.
More From Mike Bowman
I got some email from Mike Bowman and was surprised to learn that
he was still in the navy. He promised me that as soon as
he got his scanner fixed he would send me some pics from the old
days. (Man, it totally blows my mind that Mike is still in the
navy! He must be coming up on his 20th yr by now.) Mike
never told me what ship he was on these days (he said he was about to go to sea
Didn't Ask .... Didn't Tell
...speaking of homosexual discharges, My bud Kyle W. (RC-11) got
one. I gave him hell about it, especially because he had this
"Death Before Dishonor" dagger tattoo on his arm. While
he was going through the process, he was screwing some officer's
wife on the base. When her husband returned
from his cruise, she bailed on him and went to Kyle. He was shitting
bricks 'cause if the officer got Kyle's name, it would have screwed
up his homo discharge.
A Rare Find: An Early 80's Nuke and an ELT!
Hi, found your sight from a link given to me by the Enterprise
Alumni organization. I served on Enterprise from 1980 to 1983 as a
Lead ELT, RL division. My name is Joe Seman with the e-mail address
Thanks for putting up the website!
More RE Division Success Stories
Whenever I make contact with old shipmates I always ask them to
share a little about where they are and what
they're doing these days. Most are out of the navy by now or
very close to retirement. I am always delighted to hear from old
friends who come across this site. That is primarily
why I put this site together in the first place. Below are
some updates from two former REs that were great friends of mine and
many of you who served during the '88 and '90 cruises should know
these guys. I'd
like to share portions of their personnel emails to me (if they don't
mind). [The second person has asked to remain anonymous.]
From Chief Shackett:
Sorry it took so long to get back to
you. I have retired from the Navy. Yes, I was a "lifer."
Retired as a MCPO with 23.5 years in. Though I don't think of myself
as as a typical "lifer." I'm still married to Vicki, my
wife you met. Our son just graduated from high school. Getting
old. I work now for Newport News Shipyard as a Tech Rep. Still
run into some of the "old" crew, Mike Bowman,
"Doc" Boyd, Andy Astelford, T. J. Lang, and, Paul Porter
to name a few...
... Hell, I thought I was dreaming when I ran across your Big E Rx
Dept web site! Do you remember me? I was in RE04 when you became LPO
and for a couple years after you left, but I kept a pretty low
profile, I think. That's some pretty raunchy stuff you put on the
web, but I guess the truth comes out eventually...
Anyway, reading some of those stories just reminded me why I
couldn't wait to get out of the Navy. I think I must've decided it
wasn't for me when a wasted Brian "Sloth" puked in his rack one night
and then just flipped the mattress over and went right back to sleep
on the other side. Well, I didn't see that. Maybe it was just a
rumor that I heard. :) I got off the Enterprise and the Navy in '91
and went back to school to get a BSEE & MSE and now I've got a house, a wife and a 10 month old son. A far cry from
the days when all of my personal belongings fit in that little
locker in my rack in Rx berthing, which smelled like crap all the
time. Just thought I'd at least say hello and thanks for the
website. It gave me some good laughs. Glad to see you've found a
good outlet for your creativity.
I also heard from Scott Hayes! As of now he just sent me
his vitals for the alumni page. I emailed him back and asked
him for more details and I will share those with you as soon as I
To show you how much time has gone by it seems
like just yesterday that Randy's son (who is now graduating from
high school) was just starting kindergarten. I remember Randy
told us that he took his son to buy new clothes for school and was
shocked at how expensive "Guess" jeans were. Randy
wanted to buy plain old Levi's but Guess jeans were "in"
and his son told him that all the cool kids in kindergarten were
Dwaine Bush's Sea Pup Finds The Site!
Laughed my ass off...some things never change.
Tim Nagle EM-22 ("Home of the Hammer Mechanics") '80-'83
MM2 Duane (Bush Sucks) Bush was assigned as my "Sea Daddy" in my welcome
aboard letter - I doubt he knew it, Thank God.
Who remembers the MFNP?
E-mail at firstname.lastname@example.org
Welcome to Another Early 80's RM:
I was on the Enterprise from 1981-1985 and worked in RM22, RM23
and was in RM3 when I got out in 1985 just before the ship went into
dry dock at Hunters Point in San Francisco. Please put my name on
the list along with my e-mail address: TNT1300@Juno.com
Another Distinguished Visitor
I was a reactor operator on the Enterprise from 1970-73 (2plant). My e-mail address is
More Big E Memories
Excellent site and wonderful to hear that the Big E Reactor
Department hasn't changed much over the years. I was an RO and then
a Reactor Technician in 2 plant from 1971 to 1975. I was referred
here by "Dogass" Terry Stiemsma, my Olongapo and Bremerton
steaming buddy. Also good to see Jerry McAlpin checking in as well.
Hell, I was young and didn't give a damn, so it was some of the best
times of my life, especially standing watch with crazy people like
Bob Parker, Steve Rich, Mike Miller, Dave Tatousek, and other
crazies. The first cruise I made lasted through the Christmas
holidays and, of course, we were on the line in the Tonkin Gulf
during the holidays. One night, after I get off watch, either Parker
or Rich tells me to go to the RC shop in 3 plant. Turns out Stevie
had received his Christmas package from wife Sue, which included a
bottle of hooch and some good things to munch on. So, we settled
back and celebrated the holiday!! I'll try and scan some of the
photos I've got of the "Farewell Olongapo" party we had
out in town when we were due to rotate back to Alameda - before we
got extended when either the lame ass Coral Sea or the lame ass
Ranger broke down and we had to cover their duty on the line.
A 60's Big E Nuke Finds The Site!
I have just found the website and thought I would submit my
address to see if any of the old timers are still around. I only saw
one guy of my vintage. I was onboard from '65 thru '69 and was
assigned to RM4 (RM Div. engineroom 4) back in the days when one’s
assignment was not loaded down with all the funky numbers you
younger guys use nowadays. I was in charge of Mechanical Training
for all the RM guys and had to sit face to face with the real
Godfather and explain everyone’s record. The Godfather was none
other than H.G. Rickover. I saw a rat on a picture for #3, which has
to be stolen. (See patch at bottom of page 1.) The reason I
say that is because I drew and painted the original "DILLIGAF"
on the day tank on the turbine generator level of #4 at which time
all pumps on the aux. side were named. We had a sailor hanging by
his thumbs on the deareator with the slogan of "Grin and Bare
It," which was done by a plank owner whose name I have
forgotten at the present. Drop me a note and let me know what is of
interest and maybe I can dig out some history (crew type fun stuff
and pranks) to submit to the younger gang. I have the distinction of
being the first MM3 to stand top watch with a crew made up of chiefs
including one E-9 superchief. Great sea stories from The Grand Lady,
not the Pig E and the other defaming names. Contact me at JDENGLISH1@aol.com.
…. I guess it would be nice to identify myself, ie, James David
"Dave" English. I do keep in touch with several of the old
sea dogs of the golden years when an E5 nuke on the Big E was on the
dirty end of the stick. Have a good one and jot a line or two, would
like to get a couple good sea stories on the books. Love to tell
about the reactor compartment/ oneman spot drill on Christmas Eve
while on Yankee Station, results were a scream. Take care and God
Bless the gang on the line now.
Dave English sent in the following story about Marf-Marf.
Dave says this story must be told with a nasal voice
impediment. Here goes:
Seems Reactor Dept. second in command had a voice impediment and
he always insisted in running GQ drills from central. One thing he
always did was tie all phone circuits together and come online with
(say with nasal sound), "All stations, this is the Master Drill
observer," at which time one of the guys in #1 would say with
an impediment, "Hey! How does a tongue tied dog sound running
thru the woods?'' to which a guy back in aft steering would answer,
"Marf-Marf you sob." Well, the commander would got ballistic
and start screaming as he tried to isolate the circuit. He would
scream, "Hey! You SOBs making fun of my voice?" to which
someone else with an impediment would say, "No man, I always
talk this way when I am scared." By this time the commander has
just about destroyed the IC board down in central and the rest of
the staff were all facing the bulkhead laughing. He never learned,
it happened every time we had GQ drills.
I'm not sure why whoever
designed the "all stations" system designed it
that way. I seriously doubt that it is still connected
through the sound powered phone circuit as it was in my
time. I remember (as the RE) spending countless hours
chasing down grounds and shorts in the phone circuit, which
would render the "all stations" system useless. (Or
trying to figure out who left a pair of headsets plugged in
somewhere, causing nasty feedback every time the mike was
keyed.) But, of course,
having the all stations connected through the phone circuit
also resulted in countless hours of entertainment for bored
watchstanders. The guys in 2 plant were notorious
for yelling, "Ghuuuuuuh" into the phones after an
was made by EOS. (This annoying practice is discussed somewhat on the
2plantlosers site.) As stupid as it sounds, this really pissed off some watch officers
and watch supes to the point that they were on personal
crusades to stop it (but it only made it worse).
Stories? Go to Page Four
of The Official Reactor and Engineering Department Web Site