Page 15 started March 31, 2003

Letters, Random Memories and Assorted Sea Stories (Cont.)

Finally!  A 60's Guy!!!!

I would like to be added to your list. USS Enterprise, 1965-1968 RM Div #3 plant

Ray Henderson

NPS CLASS 7401-3 Mini reunion

KP: Many thanks for your help and major props to you for this website. It is the best! It's been 25 years since I last talked to Ron Ogan, and after two days of misguided e-mails, we hooked up via telephone. Not only did we survive 6 months of NPS together, but we spent 4 years in the same plant, often on watch at the same.  To make a long story short for now, we relived several adventures and had a few laughs. We served with some pretty wild and crazy guys and I'll need Ron's help in re-telling some of our escapades which seem to have become a tradition on the "BIG E." Hopefully we can hunt down some of our 70's pals and get the stories rolling. I've yet to finish reading all these stories and hope to start writing soon. 

Thanks again, 
Steve,  4MMR 

The Stickman Comes Aboard!

Hi, KP. Please list me, and post any of the following that strikes your fancy. 

I stumbled onto this site while perusing the web for references to ORSE (don't ask ...). Didn't expect to find so many ghosts of Nuclear Past haunting the web. Holy memory jog! Almost didn't recognize my own Dopey Book cartoon on page 14. Surprised Mark still has this. I'd heard that "Grub" got pissed one day and cast the 3 plant dopey books into the bilge (which may explain the advanced yellowing of Mark's example). 3 plant's RM Dopey Book was notorious in my day. Pukes from other plants would seek it out. Even Khaki Dogs would sneak down to read it ("Too-Tall" Turner was a regular subscriber). Though proud of my contributions, I can't claim the credit. My cartoon style was somewhat "refined," but I couldn't touch "Waste" and others for hilarity.

Speaking of Schmegmen, I'm not as surprised some have touched down here as that any survived this long! You've read no exaggeration of Schmegma House exploits in these pages. Those guys held the patent for PAARTEEE. My only two sources of popularity (or, some may argue, "usefulness") were my Dopey Book entries and urine samples. Yes, in the early days of the great "Doper Witch Hunts" my donations kept at least a couple of Schmegma necks off the de-nuke chopping block. Amazing the uses you can find for a Zip-Lock bag.

I confess to a degree of reverence for Schmegmites. Despite dedicating their existence to inebriated debauchery, these guys were damned competent. They never abandoned Schmegmattitude while on watch, yet as a rule they were sharp operators.  Nukes typically distinguish between and separate Navy Kulture from job performance. Schmegma pushed the envelope. Must be a lesson here somewhere. 

Like most of us I've a sea story or two. I'd like to offer this short one, which I'll call "Uncles of Iwa."

After the Bremerton YardPac, and once we'd set sail from Alameda, it seemed that nearly everywhere we stopped Fred Hirayama had an uncle. We made port in San Diego and Fred dropped in to visit an uncle. When we pulled into Pearl Harbor Fred hit the Islands to visit an uncle there. Later in the WestPac we ported in Sasebo, Japan and, sure enough ... another uncle!  Also, with a cousin as escort, Fred was apparently embraced at Japanese establishments where we gaijin would not have been welcomed.  Afterward we detected a subtle change in Fred, for he had discovered his roots. He entered Sasebo as "Fred" from Pennsylvania, and emerged as "Iwa," Son Of The Rising Sun!  Prior to this, I'd kid him about his "Dutch heritage," since hailing from Pennsylvania and having to admit his ancestors wore wooden shoes. Nevertheless, when we hit PI (where he had no uncle) "Iwa" suffered rather harsh abuse at the hands of the "hostesses." It seems they STILL harbored a grudge over the Japanese occupation of WWII. If I were him I'd have gone with the Dutch thing.

It was this frame of reference that inspired my depiction of Fred, the Samurai RM, in Mark Best's "sea puppy" cartoon.  This site's a riot, KP. I'll check back periodically for more degenerates from the early 80's. I'm curious if anyone's heard from "Grub," "Furlips," or Frank Lipinski (who's handle hasn't survived my memory).

RM23 '80 - '84
Donn Davis

MM1 Dyas' Hat ....


A letter from A-ganger brought back some memories. I don't know where Druck or Dyas are now. Druck got masted out (5 times I believe!). I knew him since power school, but he had some problems that started in A-school that he couldn't get away from. I won't go into it in the hopes that he has moved on with his life.

What I remembered was Dyas. He came on the ship at the end of the 98-99 Med as a 1st class recently sub disqualified I believe. Nobody likes some 1st coming in telling you how things are done especially Big E ELT's. We didn't need some sub puke trying to direct us. It didn't help that he was a pretty big guy and was always in the way.

Dyas had a habit of leaving his hat all over the place. Not a good idea if nobody really likes you (or even if they do I suppose). Taping his hat up soon started. I don't know who started it, but I guess I finished it. He left his hat in the radcon office one too many times so I decided to get in on the fun. Instead of just taping the hat I secured it to a white board and left a message from the hat to MM1 Dyas. He eventually came into the office saw the hat and message and flipped out yelling at everyone. I think he blamed it on Sonny Crowell, who was much more of a prankster than I was. The next day Dyas's hat was in the radcon office when I walked in so I taped, secured to the board, and wrote another message. He eventually walked in saw the massage snagged the ball of tape and stormed off to the main RL office and commenced yelling at the khaki (MMCS Grey I believe). As soon as Dyas left the radcon office I took his hat out of hiding and put it in his box. As MM1 is yelling MMCS is undoing the tape and telling him to calm down. He keeps undoing the tape until he finds nothing. Apparently Dyas didn't know what to do about that. We were informed the next day that no one was to do anything with Dyas's hat anymore and leave the guy alone. If you read this Mike, sorry. We got a great laugh out of it in the radcon office though!

E. Hood
RL 96-01

Odds and Ends .....

KP, After reading everything, I have a few things to share:

-The first deployment of the F-14 Tomcat was on the "Big E" on the 74-75 Westpac with Squadrons VF-1 and VF-2.

-Operation Frequent Wind, the Saigon evac had a light show one night (4/28/75), the NVA shelled Tan Son Nhut airport-very surreal 

-76-77 Westpac, we had a Kreska class cruiser (Russian) tailing us in our wake in the IO. Of course we were giving them one fingered salutes as well as numerous moonshots. They got close enough for us to see the Ivans (<1/4 mile), then an ahead flank lost them within 30 minutes, pretty impressive at the time.  

-I remember when Mel Ugaki came down to 4MMR as a nub (E-4 or E-5) in mid 1978; seeing him as a Chief....... 

-I remember seeing Mike Je---tt with no tattoos 

-Benji Degusgos was a fictitious name used to send laughing tobacco from Conus to a friend of mine in RM14. I was glad to see his name flourish. 

-Here's a good one: there was an RM (name and plant withheld) whose ambition was to jack-off in every Rx compt-when I left in 78 he had one to go. 

-My introduction to Big E humor-Whilst upon the throne in rx berthing head (as a nub), someone had written "Marine ID cards" above the shitpaper. Back then, Rx berthing head was damn clean as was the berthing; M-Div coop wasn't bad either, but after two cruises...... 

-4MMR had the only operating bilge and stripping pump for the four years I was on. Too bad it went tits up a week before I left the ship. Next: The Blue Room 

Steve, 4MMR 

Jason Moody Comes Aboard .....

Jason Moody
RL, RT 1995 - 2000 (Too Damn Long)

The Blue Room ....

I believe this occurred on the 74-75 Westpac. It was time for the bi-annual painting of the engine room. The powers that be at the time MM1s Lindermann and Smith , MM2s Docherty , Linthicum, and McGuire masterminded the painting plan. Rumor had it that if one added some Prussian blue to the paint, it would not turn as yellow due to the heat. So, we got the sprayer, mixed our paint with the special de-yellowing agent, a little dab of Prussian blue, and got busy. Four days later we had a beautiful baby blue engine room.  Man was it pretty! The only problem was we had to get the CO (Cap'n Smith) to okay the job. Well, the CO came down, stood in front of the LP turbine, made one look around, and said, "Paint it over." So we did.  Last year I visited the battleship Massachusetts in Fall River, Mass. Being a former snipe, I wanted to see their power plant.  The only engine room open to the public had beautiful light blue paint, damn near the same shade we had. I guess ol' Cap'n Smith didn't want to look the fool showing off his cleanest engine room (at that time) in light blue to some visiting admiral.


Mobile Chernobyl Patch ....

[The Mobile Chernobyl cruise patch from the 98 deployment (see page 2)] was banned by the command so people started selling them like drugs.  One guy I know in RL division had about 100 made up and he sold them for around $20 dollars a piece. A nice chunk of change for a patch that really pissed the command off.

Jason Moody

Names From the Past .....

At risk of releasing too much information about people that I have known from the Navy years, here are a bunch of names of ex-Big E nukes that I have run into during the past years. If they didn't want their names mentioned they should have told me.

TJ Weber - There isn't a early 80's Nuke that doesn't know this guy. Ran into him a couple years ago. Retired from the Navy and currently working for Newport News Shipbuilding as a radcon engineer. And to think this is the guy that taught me everything I don't know about rad con. Still looks a lot like his picture in one of the earlier pages. You can't miss the nose.

Mark Thomas - 2 plant watch officer for the late 80's. He was working with me in Pittsburgh for a couple years then quit and went to work for General Electric locomotive factory in Grove City, PA. Was on the on the Big E when it hit the rock.

Doug O'hearn - The three plant RM Chief when I went down to the plants. Working at NRF. I think he made several trips on the Big E starting from the 60's. I didn't recognize him until another former three planter working at NRF told me about him.

Rich Austin - RC23. The former three planter that told me about Doug. Another three planter that I didn't recognize. He recognized me.

Joe Gorman - Reactor Officer during part of my stay. I can still remember going to his state room in the middle of the night for single valve isolation tags after he had spent a long night at the Rusty Pelican. Doug told me about him. Working as a manager for Bettis.

Peter Klevitch - Last heard from him about 1990. Got married and was working for Seabrook. Haven't heard from him for a long time but certainly miss him.

David Hasselbring - The "Grub." Donn isn't the only one that wants to hear something from this guy. Last heard that he moved back to Gulfport and was working in a print shop. This was shortly after he got out of the Navy. Also heard something about him getting involved with his Australian babe.

Dennis May - RM14. Several people have told me is working at TMI.

To the Stickman: Good to hear from you again. Besides your excellent graphics work, one of the things I enjoyed about you most was your willingness to take anyone's duty during port visits. Thanks again for your services.  

F. H.

Big E squid images ...

Hi KP!

I've rummaged through old nuke paraphernalia looking for Big E images from the early '80's. Arrgh! can no longer brag about having the only surviving copy of Schmeg South's Spaghetti Fest flyer. The Waste conceived and sketched that "Rastafarian Gourmets" cartoon then commissioned me to ink it (the portraits of Waste and Frank are pretty true to Waste's original sketch). I felt honored, but not enough to tackle it gratis. My fee was a copy of the flyer, which is still with me.

I've turned up a few mug shots which were kept safely hidden lest they frighten young innocents. One depicts myself and Dan Dean, a pair of happy-go-lucky squids somewhere in the bowels of the steel weenie (rx berthing? -- someone help me out!).  Those familiar with Dan Dean likely know that he has a couple of New York State Golden Gloves titles. But it's less likely anyone's seen him in action. Through a string of shifty deals, I've obtained this rare spy photo of Dan working out with a sparring partner. I wonder where Dan got that shirt? He came aboard while still at the yards in '81. The shirt reads:

"The Big E RELAY CARNIVAL '79." 

More appropriate that it should read:

"The Big E DELAY CIRCUS '79." 

Because everyone here is just so extra special, I've included a bonus shot of the rarely photographed "Grub," another 3 plant RM. That lad has spawned a couple of sea stories. If someone doesn't beat me to it, I'll return to recount the tale of "Grub vs Grunt."


EM23 Memories .....

Hey King Paul, Just thought I would send along some pictures from my time on the Big E. As I get them together and try to remember names and any stories, I will send them in. The first picture is of EM-23 sometime around 1987. I'm the one with my big head blocking the F in FTN. The second picture is a bunch of nukes from RT div. I think most of us were from class 8302 and I also believe this was our first time pulling out of Alameda. The last picture is of Mike (Zippy the Pinhead) Purcell And T(ony?) Bombe while in Hawaii.

Rick ("Chester the Molester") Newman 84-88.

P.S., I have a question for any active 3 planters. In the first picture on top of the limitorque motor for the MCWP suction valve is a stainless steel cover. Every cruise the members of EM-23 had their names engraved on that cover. Is it still there and has the tradition continued?

"Benji Degusgos"

Steve wrote about "Benji Degusgos," whose name was all over my qual cards and MM2 and 1 paperwork in the late 70's. Glad I finally learned where it came from. Steve, I still sign the turnover sheet in the simulator with a BJ Deguscos!

Bongo Bill

More Big E Memorabilia ....


Here are some memorabilia items, the likes of which I haven't seen in these pages yet. The shirt was from a Reactor Dept. softball team in the early '80's. I wasn't on the team (me?... chase balls in the grass?!) but I got a shirt for contributing the graphics. I originally designed a rotund little character in floppy anti-c's which I thought was pretty amusing. But some of the team members objected that it didn't properly represent their athletic manliness. I seem to recall that our team ranked highly among the ship's departments. Beyond that my memory's coming up with hair-balls. Maybe someone else -- a manly athlete perhaps -- can provide details. Any more of these floating around out there?


Arrgh! Returns ....

It's been a while since I sent anything, so here's some input from the latest comments...

Some familiar faces (and some feces) from the latest! I am filled with envy that I have lost my claim to the only existing copy of the long ago (but never forgotten) Schmeg South house naming party flyer! At least I can remember, well, some of the party I think... 

To FH, from your names from the past... to find Peter Klevitch, e-mail me and I'll send his phone number to ya. You can also find him through, if you know how to do that thing. I'm still waiting for Dennis "the welcher." May to pay me the $100 he owes me. He bet me I'd be married within 6 months of hitting the PI. He lost that bet! You're right about TJ Weber. Everyone does know him.

Like most people, as Bongo Bill mentioned, I had a "B J Degusgos" sig or two show up on my qual cards. I never did figure out who the hell that guy was, as I never remembered seeing anyone sign off those particular sigs. Eventually, someone let me in on the joke. Another contributor to this site, whom I will not name for obvious reasons, once admitted to hanging some bogus Danger tags during the yard period with BJ's sigs on them. I don't remember where they got hung, but I do remember the massive flap! 

I also still have in my possession a fully signed off CPAW watch qual card, which for some reason (hehehehe) I never turned in. Eventually, my name turned up on a watchbill as qualified, and I was going to have to do my turn. If I recall correctly, I skated out of it and never stood a single CPAW watch during my Naval squid career. I guess hanging around with Dirtbag did have some effect on me.

And finally, to John "Rocky" Stehfest, why don't you use your REAL dopey book name, Rocky? Where'd ya get that "Dockbanger" and "Iceman" thing? Am I losing it, cause I don't recall you using that name. Oh well, I know who you are, anyway. If you ever hook up with Jerry Zelmer, let me know, too. Do you remember the time we were all talking about the piss tests, and I had Jerry convinced that he should toke up with us, so's he wouldn't be one of the only 2 or 3 left after we all got busted? That was a classic! I'm glad they weeded out all the dopers, you know. It's dangerous to have a bunch of partying wildmen operating nuclear reactors! hahahahaha yeeeee haaaaaa!!


"Crack Head" Bob Comes Aboard?

Saw your site and I totally love it, lots of things coming back to me that I forgot. Keep up the good work!!

Crackhead Bob, 98-02'
EE03 and EE04

More From Ray Henderson ....

I really like your web site. I have heard from 2 guys that were on the ship during my time period. I located my Big E Yankee Station book from 1968 today. When my scanner is fixed, I will send pictures. If anyone out there knows the whereabouts of Jim (Hazard) Hanson, please let me know. Jim and I shared some hell raising liberty calls together.

More later---Ray Henderson, 65-68, Machinist Mate, 3 Plant

Living Room?


Enginerooms are not noted for having restrooms, yet there were places where one could relieve one's self. LLER had a plethora of places to take a piss, but ULER had but one. In 4MMR, it was the dirty drain funnel on the aft bulkhead between 4SSTG and the red gear. I had occasion to use said facility one watch as the ULER watchstander with JJ McGuire as my CMO. I took care of business, shook off my unit, zipped up, and turned around to find the RO looking at me with his mouth agape. The RO was CDR Read (aka Ricochet Read); and his exact words to me were: "Did you do what I think you did?" I replied, "Yes sir, I did." I figured I'd be honest, like he'd believe, "No sir, I was shaking my dick at the bulkhead for no apparent reason." So Ricochet Read marches me out of the ER (a no-no without a relief, but he was the RO!) and takes me to see the MPA, a LCDR Kalyn. Kalyn had one of those Capt. Ahab beards (no moustache) and bulgy eyes, hell, he could have passed for Capt. Ahab! Anyway, once he got the story down, he paused for thought, and finally said: "Well, PO Wilson, as far as I'm concerned, urinating in the engineroom is like urinating in your own living room." I suppose M-Div berthing must be the fucking penthouse suite! So Kayln gave me bilge diving assignments which my LPO "Lindy" Lindermann waived as that yellow stain on the blkhd wasn't caused by just me! 

Steve, 4MMR

P.S. We had a stainless steel box on ULER on the mn cond inj valve with inscribed names of everyone in our ER-Any of you guys serving after ''78'' in 4main know what happened to it ? 

John Martin Comes Aboard!


Please add me to the contacts list.

John Martin

A quick look at the ol' cruise book to place your face and name together and now I remember you.  Great to hear from you again!  


A Request .....

I think I mentioned a bit back that the new plant (sewer, not nuclear) manager where I work is a recently retired E-8 Fire Control Tech. He's decided that a monthly "field day" will be a good team building experience and bring the different work groups together... OK, now that you've wiped the beer off your monitor, what I'm looking for is an audio file of the "call to sweepers" to play over the plant paging system the next time it comes up. I've found the bosun's whistle call, but need the whole thing - and for obvious reasons it can't be in the voice of anyone who works there.

I'd appreciate any leads and they can be sent to me at

M Link, Esq.



Just needed to clarify something from my last e-mail. To the best of my knowledge, "Rocky" never partook of anything illegal (by way of ingesting burnable herbal materials). I realized the way that a certain paragraph was written it could be taken to mean that, and in order to be certain that no misunderstandings occur, I must tell this story to help clarify....

One day in 4 RCER, near the end of my tour and Naval career, there was a discussion concerning a drug test of a large part of the RE Division (it may have been all of them, or just certain plants, I can't recall). There was most of the RC-14 guys present, it was just after muster, I believe. Someone remarked that it was a good thing to test all of the nucs, to get rid of the smokers.  I retorted something to the effect of as follows... "If they test RC division like that, they'll be tying the Big E to a pier for the next year while they train a new batch of ROs. They'd get just about all of the senior ROs, and good portion of the new guys, too!" I remember Jerry Zelmer stating something like, "I'd hate to be stuck here under those circumstances!" I suggested that he let me provide him with a "hot" sample so he could get de-nuked with most of us (there were exceptions, of course. I was overstating the facts to make my case). I recall he seemed to be seriously considering what I had said. We were so undermanned at the time that losing 1/2 the ROs would have tied us up for quite some time.

For the record, I was a pretty wild guy back then, but no more. Also, as most would attest, we were all pretty wild, but we always knew our jobs, and could even perform in our sleep, as I have personally demonstrated! I didn't like to be "effected" when on watch or performing maintenance; it always took the fun out your "fun." Actually, I am currently pastoring a Baptist Church in Walla Walla, WA. Really!! No, I'm not pulling your leg. So you can see, miracles DO happen!


BoJo Gets Busted!

Re: Steve Wilson's getting busted pissing by the RO.  Yeah, it was known to happen.  The RO or ChEng would wander down the plant and inevitably find someone doing something they shouldn't be doing.  It was part of their job description I guess.  The best "getting busted down the plant" story I remember is about poor "Bojo," a fellow RE04 mate, who got caught sleeping in 4 SWGR by Captain Rocky Spane.  I already told this story in a Mooj newsletter but here it is again (revamped for a more seaworthy audience).  "Bojo," as most of you mid-to-late 80s guys remember, was lazier than a dog with no balls.  He was so lazy, in fact, that he wouldn't even pretend to work.  Paul Smith (our LPO at the time) pretty much let him get away with doing nothing since we got more done without him than with him.  So every morning after muster, while the rest of us checked the maintenance schedule or began fielddaying, Bojo found a nice warm spot on the SWGR room rubber mat and went to sleep.  We would literally have to roll him over to sweep under him.

One day during the '87 SRA Chief Whitsett came running down to 4 SWGR to tell us that he just got "word" that the old man was on his way down.  4 SWGR looked okay, except, of course, for the big fat blob sleeping between the RCP and main SWGRs.  "Get your ass up and get to work!" yelled Whitsett.  The rest of us were on the other side of the SWGRs so we weren't sure if Bojo actually got up.  No sooner had Chief Whitsett stepped out that Captn' Spane stepped in.  He said a quick hello to all of us as we tried to look busy and then walked around the SWGR.  

"Boy, I sure hope that lardass woke up," I remember thinking.  But he didn't because a few seconds later we heard Spane scream, "HEY!!!!  You there, asleep on the floor, are you on Watch???"  

We then heard Bojo mumble, "Uh, No Sir, ..... Uh, ....Uh... "

When asked to explain himself Bojo began by saying, "Well, you see sir ... I was out late last night partying ....." 

The old man didn't even bother to let Bojo finish and said, "WRONG ANSWER SON!"   Bojo was in deep doo-doo and he knew it.  Chief Whitsett was summoned back to SWGR and the rest of us hung out to see what happened next.  As far as we were concerned it couldn't have happened to a more deserving guy! 

I forget all the punishments that were doled out that morning but they weren't pleasant.  One of them, if I recall correctly, was that Bojo had to spend the next few days scrubbing the 4 MMR deck with a toothbrush.  Sadly, Bojo didn't really learn his lesson since the next day he was rolled up in the same spot, snoozing away again.  


Schoolboy Skate .....

Seeing the above cartoon reminds me of a long-forgotten era, when I was a nub, and still not quite sure what life was all about. This was actually the first cartoon I ever drew in a dopeybook. I penned it shortly after qualifying SRE. It depicts MTW’s half-assed attempt to lay tile when RE04 was tasked with retiling and repainting the 4 MMR access way following the '87 SRA. (Note the sleeping Bojo in the foreground.)

MTW did such a shitty job during his shift that almost every tile he laid had to be pulled up and replaced; and then most of the access way had to be repainted due to the mess he made while working (the cartoon does not exaggerate a thing).

Actually, it is unfair to categorize MTW as a no load. He was more of a skater. In fact, he pretty much mastered the art of skating. "Mike the Wad" was smart enough to figure a way out of almost anything—and look busy while doing it! By the time workups began in '87 he had finagled himself into our division’s APO (admin PO) slot. Then whenever a big sweat zone inspection was scheduled or a maintenance nightmare unfolded, MTW had gobs of APO work to do in the office and couldn't be found to save his life. When his days as APO were over he quickly appointed himself division TPO. He practically avoided coming down 4-plant (other than for watch) his entire sea career!

Sometime in those early days he was given the nickname "School-boy skate" because he ran a chit through the department allowing him to take a few college courses. (It was one of those, "as long as it doesn’t interfere with your work schedule" type of deals….) Before we knew it MTW was a fulltime student, attending classes everyday! We’d be in the middle of something and he’d drop his tool bag and say, "Oops, gotta run, gotta go to school …" Man, were we pissed! Finally, someone (I forget who....probably Whitsett) put the kabash on the whole school boy thing and his days of leaving the ship at 10:00 a.m. were over.

MTW was brilliant—and funny as hell. He and I were good friends throughout our time in the navy and then roommates afterwards in college.  Someday I’d like to write a book about him because he was such an unforgettable character. I have no idea where he is these days. I’d love to find him again.  MTW, where are you?



ELT Ponderings

Damn, after reading the pages of sea stories from the "Old Timers" I am beginning to realize why my 5+ years on the Pig were hell. I would be interested in hearing from some old school ELTs. I would like to find out what exactly they fed the Steam Generators to make them so mad. I can remember entire underways where the chloride casualty bill was set. We used to just load up the chemicals and blow down for Jesus hoping that someday we would get some sleep. Man, day after day it was all the ELT's to the plants because the steam generators just took another shit. Especially on friends and family cruises. Nothing like one good sonic fly-by to set off the salinity probes. Say goodbye to the wives and haul your ass to the plant.

I not only served 5 years 7 months and 26 days on board the BIG E, I had the privilege of living on board for most of that time. I held on to the same shitty rack for the entire time also. Even when I made E-6 I did not move to the geriatric farm house. I had a image of a complete dirt bag to keep up and that would have ruined it. I even made it without qualifying surface warfare (my separation eval was wonderful). 

It will take some time for me to clear out the cobwebs but I have a lot of stories about the Pig and what all happened during the 90's.  I can see that even some of my partners in crime have logged in with their two cents worth (Bobby, Gunch). I really enjoy the site and look forward to reading and contributing in the future.

Jason L. Moody

More Big E Cleansing .....

Arrgh!’s musings of rx department’s doper cleansing efforts remind me of a related experience. There was one Chief, an MM I believe, who seemed particularly bent on ferreting out Rastafarian elements in the plants. His name escapes me now, but I recall his physical characteristics: stout fellow, dark hair, humorless demeanor. He cornered me in RARLL while on watch one day and tried to pump me for names of nukes who sampled recreational pharmaceuticals. He must’ve figured me for the “responsible, family type,” thinking I’d make a willing snitch. I deflected his questions at first, hoping he’d lose interest and go away. But it became apparent he was on a mission and was sure I’d spill my guts of all the sordid details if prodded long enough. Finally I told him, “Chief, I’ll make this easy for you.” I put down my logs, held up my right hand and counted off fingers with my left as I cited names: first my own, then three others. “These guys,” I said, “are straight. All the rest are dopers.”  He furrowed his brow at me, silently turned away and left. For some reason, he never approached me afterward for further assistance. I don’t believe he even spoke to me again for the remainder of my enlistment.

I have to echo Arrgh! by stating that my disclosure to the Chief was exaggerated to illustrate a point. But I really did think the khaki klan, if serious about purging the plants, should have broader perspectives to ponder. Such as: finding long-term parking for the ship while training a replacement crew. 


Oh Oh .....

Oh oh, you guys are bringing up the "D" word again.  I don't care.  Let the "Big Boys" fret about it.  The truth is the truth.  Steamer told me that since we were such rebels when we were in the navy, why should we care what they think now, long after we're out?  I don't.  I just don't want outsiders that accidentally stumble onto this site getting the wrong idea.  I will say, however, during my time on the E, drugs were extremely rare.  Those that used them were quickly caught and eliminated.  There was zero tolerance.  I would assume that this is the case today, as well.  


King Paul?

The other day someone asked me why I chose "King Paul" as a dopeybook name.  The truth is I can't remember.  I think King Paul was a porn star or something.  It did cause confusion in the early days since everyone thought "King Paul" was Paul Smith.  Poor Paul took a lot of flak for some of my not-so-nice slams.  I soon changed my dopeybook name to "Kid Punjab" and continued signing my slams "KP."  

Every once in a while I would stand watch with a guy named EM3 Yassir (you guys got to remember him!).  Yassir was a very deep thinking man and often tried to read into people's dopeybook slams.  I guess he had taken a few psychology classes or, perhaps, wanted to be a psychiatrist when he got out of the navy.  He would ponder people's inner beings based on what they wrote in the dopeybook.  I told him he was pretty much wasting his time.  But his ideas did plant a seed of wonder in my head.  Could you imagine what an outsider, more specifically, someone trained in psychosis or criminal psychology, would think if they ever got their hands on a genuine USS Enterprise dopeybook?  Some of the funniest (and crudest) things I've ever read were in dopeybooks.  

Believe it or not the "Dopeybook" was a unique USS Enterprise thing.  I've asked countless other ex navy, non Big E, nukes if they kept dopeybooks hidden in their plants and they didn't.  Some had "bitch logs" or something like that but nothing as "overtly-covert" and ruthless as a dopeybook.  Those of you who served on other ships should enlighten the rest of us on what you did to amuse yourselves during those long patrols or cruises. 


Drug Testing in The Early Days ....


This E mail may be unfit for posting, but you may paraphrase if you deem it appropriate...just don't use my name to credit. You probably are already aware of this but I'll go ahead and say it anyway. Back in the early days (73-81) drug testing was nearly non-existent and quite primitive by today's standards. Testing was considered to be an inaccurate tool for prosecution and generally to be used as a tool to confirm suspicion and further investigation. Very few guys were actually busted for drug use and often they were nabbed on different or unrelated charges. I recall being tested once while attending NPS at Mare Island in late '74, early '75. Later, in the fleet there were only a couple of other times testing took place and I believe it was announced several weeks prior to actual tests taking place. Not everyone was a doper but there were a lot of guys who did use, nuke and non-nuke alike. Mostly self disclosure (Drug Exempt Program), the MAA force, and snitches from NIS were used to remove or prosecute the offender. In the Early '80s things changed with the beginnings of the witch hunts and ZTP. We used to joke that if they did mass drug testing that the ships would be left with only skeleton crews and would never be able to get under way. Stickman has it right in his last post. I think that the khakis were seriously afraid to look too deep at first, but once they had a reliable test available they were able to bring the pressure up and get folks aware that drug use and abuse would no longer be tolerated. The sailors of your era were the "benefactors" of those policies. Great site! Keep up the good work.


The O11 Level ....

It seems like every time one of those "embedded" reporters gives a live broadcast from an aircraft carrier they're standing up on the island overlooking flight ops.  I'll never forget how fascinating it was to watch flight ops from the O11 Level.  Especially at night.  When we first reported aboard, most of us RTsians would hide up on the O11 Level for hours.  The RT instructors were too lazy to come up there and hunt for us I guess.  


More Odds and Ends ....

KP: I figured I'd give some more input from the mid 70's on several matters. First, the use of controlled substances was quite extensive, yet I can remember only one Nuke getting busted by the MAA (seed in locker). On the 76-77 Westpac, we lost a LLER watchstander in 4MMR (non-nuke) to a heroin overdose (I was the feed pump watch with said individual on the pulling in watch to Hong Kong; the next morning he was dead), and some folks in M-Div berthing were shooting heroin-also non-nukes. Another fact, same cruise, 94lbs of laughing tobacco was brought on board by some nuke with an elaborate plan-nuff said. Drug testing was to start in earnest in 1978 after my departure from "E." 

Moving on, we called our "dopeybook" the "Nub" book in 4MMR during my stay. It went from a bitch book to a storybook after the bitching became droll. Some of us wrote stories involving plant members as characters and were rather amusing. Hell, sometimes we couldn't wait to go back down on watch to catch the next chapter.  

On the two and a half cruises I made, we had these "Captains Cup" competitions which were usually always won by MarDet or some chowdale (I love this name-its new to me) outfit. However, as a nub in RT Div, I managed to win second place in the cribbage tournament (still have the trophy); losing only two games to the airedale chief who won it all and to Jim Rusch of RM-14 (Jim beat the airedale chief as well, yet lost all other games in the round robin finale). The only other Rx/Eng victory was the tug of war on the 76-77 Westpac. In 4MMR, we had three individuals (Lindermann, Linthicum and Red Hinsen) near and/or over 300lbs. These heavies, along with other stout lads throughout the division, thwarted Mardet to secure first place.  

One final note: For those people who participated in Operation Frequent Wind----Pres. Bush signed a bill (National Defense Authorization Act for fiscal year 2003 {HR 4546, Sec 542}), which gives you the option of keeping the Armed Forces Expeditionary Medal or opting for the Vietnam Service Medal. For details, punch up Operation Frequent Wind and check website about VSM. Toodles, 

Steve, 4MMR  

Other "Hiding Spots" ...

KP –

You guys hung out on the O11 level. Back in our days in RT when we lived in Airedale berthing on the 03 level, we had a great underway place to hide. All the way aft on the 03 level, port side, was a small WTD that went out to an old catwalk right under the apron to the flight deck. Always a cool breeze, tremendous views. Yeah, we coulda died had one of those flight jockeys missed their approach, but what a thrill it was to be back there during night time ops --- having an F-14 fly 20 feet over your head was exhilarating. 

We used to override the alarm switch and hang out there for hours. The MAA would get an occasional report, but either they had no idea where this catwalk was or they were too lazy to check. I believe that the door was removed when they upgraded the CIWS platform on the aft, port side. 

We also hung out on the shore power sponson. No one went out there because of the high voltage signs that we stuck on the door. No one ever questioned the sign and we had a great place to study, hang out and catch some rays.


Quiet Time

Probably one of my favorite places to go and hangout was the fantail.  Sometimes it was busy and other times it was deserted.  At least once a week I would go out there and sit on some big rope pile or something and watch the sunset or sunrise.  I never got bored of looking at the waves and searching the horizon for anything of interest. On those rare occasions when we were answering flank bells it was great to see the "rooster tail" kick up from behind the ship.  On a ship with 6,000 men it was hard to find a place to be alone.  The fantail was probably your best bet.   


The First Ever Letter to the KP Site From an Underway Snipe: 

..... Last night (we're underway) I started what I think is the first ever dopeybook on a gas turbine ship.  There's two guys on here that are nuc waste, so we got together and started one!


Those Long Lines at The PI Phone Exchange ....

It amazes me that today's sailors can look at the Internet, as well as send and read email while underway.  Do you old timers remember how in glory days of seafaring, if you wanted to call home while deployed, the chances were few and far between.  One thing most of us did in PI (besides get drunk) was call home from the telephone exchange.  There was always a long line but it was worth it.  I forget how much it cost but it wasn't too unreasonable.  During the '86 cruise I think I called home only twice: once from PI and once from the USO in Naples, Italy.  Calling home from Naples was expensive.  I think I paid about $30 for a 5 minute phone call (after waiting several hours for a connection).

I just thought of something amusing.  (It wasn't amusing at the time but it is now.)  When we pulled into Pearl Harbor at the tail end of the '86 Westpac, I hit the beach with my usual pals (Dicko, Guido, Lance Winters, etc.)  Since we were finally in the "States" I figured it would be an opportune time to call my dad in Los Angeles.  I hadn't spoken to him in over 6 months.  Thus, with eager anticipation, I walked into the first phone booth I found and dialed zero for an operator to place a collect call.  

At that time my stepmother's mother was staying with my dad and stepmother.  She answered the phone and the operator asked, "Would you accept a long-distance collect call from Bill?"

My step-grandmother said: "Oh God no!  I'm just not ready for this."  She then hung up.  I was puzzled.

Later I tried again and this time I got my dad.  He had been waiting by the phone for hours, hoping I'd call back.  It turned out that my step-grandmother's husband (a guy named Bill) had just passed away.  My poor step-grandmother though it was that "Bill" trying to make a long distance collect call to her from wherever he "crossed over" to.


Front of The Line Privileges ....

Would you believe that I was the first one off the ship when we pulled in from the '86 cruise?  By first, I mean first.  Literally, the first guy to walk down the ramp when it was placed between the ship and pier.  I even got off before the Captain and the guys who had become fathers.  

How did I do this?  I won a Navy Relief raffle prize.  Like most of the crew I bought dozens of tickets during the annual Navy Relief drive.  I forget what the big prize was but one of the "lesser" prizes was "Front of the Line" privileges in Alameda.  

I remember at that time Lance Winters had RT Div's Dan Edick convinced that I was the luckiest man in the world.  Every time we had Bingo night or some other contest I would show up the next day [in the void] and pretend that I had won the big prize.  Everyone else always played along.  When they were announcing the winners of the Navy Relief raffle on KENT -TV, Dan was sitting next to me in the lounge and said something, like: "Damn, .... you really are the luckiest guy in the world!"

On a side note, the Public Relations Officer (I forget his name now) was the one who organized the raffle.  He was my Repair Locker Officer at the time.  I remember he gave me the pass during our last GQ of the cruise.  He was a no-nonsense kind of guy; I remember when I first reported to him he asked me if I was his new electrician and I said, "Yeah."  He jumped all over me and said: "YOU MEAN YES SIR, DON'T YOU?" I had no idea what the guy was getting at until we repeated this exchange a few times.  I then realized he was angry because I wasn't calling him sir.  Being a nuke I wasn't used to such naval formality.  I was, thus, humbled and called him "Sir" from then on.  He was a real hard ass during GQ and none of us were allowed to sit down--we had to stand in full battle dress (OBAs and all) the whole friggen two or three hours.  He got replaced after the cruise and his replacement was a much nicer guy.  


Last One On the Ship .....

KP, What better to follow your first one off the ship story with a last one on the ship story. On our way back to the states from the 76-77 Westpac, we stopped in Pearl Harbor for 2 hours (Thanks Cap'n!). A few of us beer lovers (from Rx and Eng) decided to hit the EM club on base for a few beers. Upon arriving at the club, Pat O'Neill asked me how we planned on getting back to the ship. There were taxis lined up for the lunch crowd and pullout time was 2pm, so I pointed to the taxis and that was that. So we quaffed several pitchers of beer, shot pool, and generally enjoyed ourselves. At 1pm we decided it was time to go and walked outside to find taxis nil-so much for my idea. We started walking at a brisk pace as the pier was about a mile and a half away. To our relief, a base bus stopped and asked us where we were going to which we replied the Enterprise. He said "the Enterprise, it's pulling out, get in and I'll drop you off at the pier". Once on the pier, we had a 100+ yard sprint to the afterbrow which already had the crane attached for removal. Yelling as we ran, we were able to catch the attention of the quarterdeck chief who halted the removal op for us. With a belly full of beer, I was the slowest sprinter and last aboard, getting a frown from the chief. We had been listed as UA, but were able to undo that before the DO had been notified. So much for the 2-hr inport period! 

Steve, 4MMR

Drug Testing .....

KP- hope this isn't too "hot" for the site! I decided against revealing our smuggling techniques, in case someone would get into trouble because of me. Better read it through first...

KP Note: As is always the case, it only takes one person to object to any story posted on this site for me to remove or "edit" it.  With that being said I will post this since .... well, it's an Arrgh! story!!  

This may sound kinda hypocritical to some, but I'm glad they have drug testing now and enforce it. You have to remember that when I was in the Navy, it was in the late 70's, early 80's and the drug culture was in its heyday. Not only that, but because the Big "E" was beached in Bremerton for so long, it almost became like being in college again for lots of us. The drug testing was pretty much of a joke then, if you were a nuc. Here's how it worked... Once a month, the XO came over the 1MC and announced the wining number by lottery. If your SSN ended in that number, you had to go to the midships head on the 2nd deck between certain hours, based on your department. MAAs stood there with rosters of whom to expect, and checked you off after checking your ID card. RX dept was always the last to have to appear. Twice when I showed up, they told us "We have enough samples already. You can go," and they shined us on. After all, everyone knew that the creme-de-la creme of the Navy would NEVER partake of illegal drugs, especially with Uncle Hymie's "One strike you're out" policy! It was a joke, really! Once, I went for my test while we were at sea, and I'm not kidding, I actually toked up a storm so I could get de-nuked. I was blasted when I filled that cup! I could barely stand up straight. Not a word was ever said to me about it. Either they were only randomly sampling the samples, or some other unexplainable thing happened, because if that test came back negative, there was no point in testing anyone. And I was a regular partaker, even at sea. There's plenty of places on a carrier to stash your stuff. Speaking of stashes, some folks have been talking about solitary places to hang out on the ship. You had to be creative, but there were actually lots of places to get by yourself on the Enterprise. I've burned one on the catwalk above the fantail, on the 7th deck in the pump rooms, various storage voids, the RE void (the RE lounge in those days, including stereos, chairs, etc).   But the best place to burn a rope was always in the plants! MAAs had no access, and the ventilation was filtered through HEPA filtration so even if they sniffed the effluent, there was nothing to smell.  I guess it's been long enough since the daze to tell how we used to do it. We'd stand in 4 RCER near the 4B end under the ventilation effluent. We all smoked cigarettes then, so we'd light up a smoke, then hit the old "Blue hose pipe" as DB called it. It was a minsy valve that had the guts taken out and a few screens added in, with a piece of tygon on the end in case it got too hot (which it frequently did). We'd exhale into the ventilation effluent, and we could see anyone coming from every direction from far enough away to get the pipe out of site before they got near us. Someone had loosened the deck plates around the corner of the door to the 4B tophat so we could hear anyone coming from that way. We never even came close to getting caught. Thinking back now, I'm glad they keep such close tabs on drugs and boot you for getting popped. How I ever lived through those times is absolutely unexplainable. Youth is a dangerous thing, I tell ya! I don't fear that the men would make mistakes operating due to residual impairment, but what you could do to yourself on liberty was a hair raising adventure indeed! But those are stories for another day. I don't think it's good to partake of burnable herbal materials, and haven't done so myself for over 15 years. I guess when you push your luck far enough, and see what becomes some of your friends, you get a grip on things and sort out what's important. Smoking pot fell off the scale for me a long time ago.


TJ Weber Comes Aboard!

Alright, I've read enough already. I've read all of the pages, been contacted by 3 ex-shipmates about this site, and even have my face pasted on page 10. I recalled Arrgh's real name before I read it on one of the entries (I didn't read the pages in order). I've always remembered Danny "Dirt Bag" Davis, how appropriately named (but more on that later). I was an RM-14 "lifer" and I had a five year adventure on the PIG E, 1978-1983. I did the "Yard Pac" and the following West Pac. Those were the best and worst times of my life and I cherish all of the memories and friends. We were a great bunch of partiers but boy could we operate that thang. I stayed for 20 years and now I work for Newport News which is now part of Northrop Grumman as a refueler. And now for my first story.....

I got to the 'E' right when it came back from it's West Pac in 78 and went to RT. Hated it up there. Nobody really cared if you qualified because there were so many short-timers and everyone knew that these plants wouldn't go critical for a long time. I got my quals signed off ( I had some B.J. Deguscos sigs) but didn't know shit. We got into the yards and they needed bodies in the plant so I got sent down to 3 plant, not even qualified BNEQ. They needed warm bodies to watch the Heise gage on RARLL and I fit that description. Eventually I got sent to 4 plant because they were hurting for warm nub bodies worse than anyone else. Then the NI cables got cut (that's mentioned somewhere in the previous pages) and some poly bottles had holes burned into them and that's when the "powers that be" in an effort to soothe NRRO created the alternate access security watch more irreverently known as the SUCK watch. The SUCK watch was a warm body (I qualified) that sat at the bottom of the alternate access ladder in RCER and logged every swingin dick that went down into the RAR into and out of the plant. I got stuck with that watch a lot and since we were so short a lot of times it was for the whole 8 hour shift. Somebody would relieve me for a half hour so I could eat and relieve myself. One mid shift I had the 4 plant SUCK watch and I had been partying most of the day and was really beat. I found myself dozing off but I really didn't care. All of a sudden I felt a presence and I opened my eyes and there was one of the NRRO monitors. Shit, I'm screwed. I looked at his badge, logged him in and then started to ponder my fate. They never addressed discrepancies with the watchstander, they just filed their report with the Senior Watch Officer on the shift. That night the Senior Watch Officer was the 4 plant watch officer. He was a really cool guy, one of the best PPWO's I had the privilege of operating with and he even showed up at some of the blue shirt shift parties. His name was Charles Eischen but we just called him Chicken because when he signed the log he signed it C. Eischen, which in script looked like "Chicken." Well Chicken came by for one of his tours and I asked him if the NRRO monitor had given him his report yet. He said he hadn't and I told Chicken that I think the guy caught me sleeping. Chicken told me he would let me know when he got the report. Well the rest of the watch went by and Chicken never called over to me so I thought that the Gods were taking care of me and that the guy didn't report it. I got relieved and I was on my way up the ladder of the normal access and Chicken came out of EOS and said, "Hey Weber hold up." He told me that we had to go see the RO together. The NRRO guy had written in his monitor sheet that I had been sleeping. We made that long walk back toward the Reactor Office and all I could think of was that I was going to lose some money and maybe my only chevron. When I went to open the door to go into the office Chicken just kept walking down the corridor. I looked at him and he got this big shit eating grin on his face and said, "Have a nice day." SUCKER!!!!!!!!

TJ Weber aka DA GEEK 
RM-14 & RM-3


Photos From TJ Weber (see above)

.... They were just 3 of the previous suspects mentioned on your pages before. The top picture is Jerry "Waste" Waitinas (an RM type), the middle photo is Dennis "Oh Noooo!!" May, another RM 14 buddy and the bottom photo is Phil Foss, an RC division dude. They were taken at my place in Bremerton. I think the occasion for the get together was "Friday." Like most of the other people I served with during Yard Pac we didn't need a reason to party. 

TJ Weber

More GQ Memories .....

I mentioned above how my first GQ locker officer was a real hard ass.  He was totally gung-ho so it must have sucked for him to be the "public relations" officer.  I'm sure he dreamed of bigger and better things.  Anyway, being a nuke I didn't really allow myself to be subjected to his hard naval ways.  EE30's "VW" and I were his two electricians (and the only nukes in the locker) so when we got bored standing around we'd make an "electrical tour," which basically took us through a manhole near the chapel and then into the projector shop.  There we'd kickback with the projector shop boys for a while.  Every fifteen minutes we return to the locker to report all was well.

Our next locker officer ('87 workups) was a much nicer guy.  He had no idea how to control the locker, especially since his two senior guys (VW and I) were such bad examples to all the others.  GQs were actually entertaining in those days since that's when FN Mar__a (see earlier story) showed up.  There was also this Bosn' mate seaman apprentice guy named Rolando in the locker.  This guy was an idiot (but he sure was funny).  He always seemed to push the envelope as far as what our locker officer deemed acceptable behavior.  Mostly, by pretending to preach.  He was damn funny.  When our locker officer had had enough he'd tell Rolando to shut up.  Rolando would stop and the rest of us would egg him on, saying stuff like, "Ah c'mon, keep going.  He don't mean it."  So Rolando would continue and the locker officer would say, "Rolando, I said knock it off!"  He'd stop and then the rest of us would prod him along again, saying stuff like, "C'mon Rolando, he's only kidding, he's totally cracking up!"  So on he'd go.  The locker officer would then scream, "Rolando!  I said knock it off!!!"  He'd shut up, but only for a few minutes because we'd get him going again.  Finally the locker officer would threaten him by saying, "Rolando, you do that one more time and I'll write you up!"  Rolando would shut up but not for long since we'd easily convince him that the locker officer was only kidding.  Finally Rolando would do it again and then get written up.  It happened every time! The guy never wised up.

This Rolando guy was a regular captain's mast attendee and  often awarded 3-day's bread and water (B&W).  (Mostly for getting caught sleeping on sponson watch.)  One time I remember him telling us that he got an extra 3 days B&W for asking for raisin bread when the usual loaf of white bread was tossed at his feet.  The Capt'n finally had had enough of this joker and gave him one of those Big Chicken Dinners.  


VW, Where Are You?

Mentioned throughout this website is my old 8502 B classmate and shipmate Bobby Vanwagonon (VW).  The last time I saw VW was around 1996, when he was working as an electrical engineer for Northrop, near Philadelphia.  VW was married then (I met his wife) and very much mellowed.  Sadly, I lost touch with him after that.  I thought for sure he would have found this website by now since he was a regular computer oriented-type guy.  I'd sure love to hear from him again.  Does anyone know where VW is these days?  


A KP Site Taboo  .....

This item kind of breaches the "no wife tales" taboo of this site but my memory was stirred by reading this morning's Dear Abby about a woman whose husband was in the navy and was granted emergency leave to attend an out of state funeral.  At that "get-together" he got her pregnant.  She, of course, returned home and is now showing.  The neighbors are doing "the math" and giving her dirty looks since her husband has been deployed for over six months.  Likely story, eh fellahs?  

I won't name names (mainly because I can't remember them) but something along those lines happened during one of our cruises.  We returned home from a westpac and this guy found his wife pregnant.  She convinced him that the baby was his.  Everyday he would marvel at how she was still pregnant.  He honestly believed that she carried the baby for over 14 months!  The rest of us just had to roll our eyes when he started talking about it.

The worst wife tale I recall (actually I shouldn't go here but .... what the hell) was when a fellow 4-planter snuck home on a duty day and caught his wife in bed with some guy.  This poor guy had to quickly return to the ship because his wife called the command to report him leaving the ship on his duty day.


The Lincoln Comes Home ...

Arrgh! sent me this....  


A GW Nuke Comes Aboard!

Never had the honor of being on the Big E, but was a nuke RE on the George Washington (CVN-73). The names are different, the ship is different, but the mentality is the same. Great website. I did have the honor of being the only person ever to be kicked out of "Big Bob's," a dive bar in a Norfolk strip mall. I puked in the janitor's closet at 3:00 in the afternoon, tripped over my feet, knocking out my two front teeth and leaving me a little dumber. Guess that's a story for a different website. Have you ever seen one for the GW?

Jeff Flatt
George Washington (92-96)

Welcome aboard Jeff!  Glad to have another RE aboard.  As of this date I haven't found many other nuke "story" sites.  Maybe you should start a GW one and we can link to each other.  You'd be amazed at how many old nukes are out there looking for a place to spend a few hours reading old sea stories.  I worked with a guy at SAIC that was an ex Ike nuke (8503) and tried to talk him into starting an Ike nuke website but he declined, stating that his memories were anything but positive.  I was hoping the BOONN site would take off but it hasn't.  Who knows, it still might. 


The Hippo Has Migrated!

New E-Mail 1970's Kreutel: 


Feeling like you could use some enlightenment? Fret not brother ex-nukes, The latest Mooj Weekly Standard has just been posted!  See if any of you can detect which letter came from "Steamer."  I'll give you a hint .... it involves a guy in Speedo trunks.  


Dave Vernier Comes Aboard!


Found your website and could not believe the dopeybook. It has been a long time. 

David Vernier (83-87) RE04 & fwd group sup

Dave!!!! It is so great to hear from you again!  You were my first "big boss" when I showed up in RE.  I remember the FWD group was the place to be and it was due in large part to you.  After you left Mike Engel became FGS and I became 4-Plant LPO.  Then when Engel left for Orlando I took over as FGS.

Back during the '87 SRA I remember none of us could get cut loose until you and EM1 Wheeler checked the plants.  You were easy to find and weren't a hard ass about little stuff so we usually got out of there early.  The Aft group boys, however, we forever searching for "Wheels," who pretty much just hid in the 1st Class Lounge so no one could bother him.  When he finally did come down to inspect his plants, he usually had a zillion things for the guys to correct before he set them free.  Yep, being in the FWD group ruled!  

Have you contacted Jim Whitsett yet?  He is listed in the contacts section.  Mr. Amala is also.  There are dozens of REs listed from our era and I'm sure all would love to hear from you since you were one of the "good guys."  Can't wait to hear from you again.  How about some stories?  


Arggh! Questions the Mooj's Sources .....

OK, who's the wise guy? I'll bet Steamer put you up to that story about the guy from Fredonia who wanted to know if his father was a, well, a MF, right? I know he was responsible for the potato story, as he originally had tried to implicate me on that one...


ps - pretty good news letter this month!

Nope, that was a KP original.  Sadly that "Fredonia" letter is based on a real-life story.  It's a long story, too.  I won't go into detail but a pal of mine recently asked my advice about donating sperm so his stepdaughter ... er, actually, never mind.  

I picked Fredonia because we were talking about it on the Critical Thinking site and I like the sound of it.  "Fredonia!"  It sounds like a happening place.  Usually when I pick places for my letters I open an Atlas and point to a random spot on a random page.  That is why most Mooj letters come from such obscure towns. 

I'm glad you like the latest Mooj newsletter.  Work has been so slow lately that I pretty much just sat in my office all week writing crap (Mooj stuff, KP stuff, unfinished novel stuff, etc).  I enjoy when things get slow so I can write (although I hope it isn't a regular thing or I'll go out of business).  

The detective "letter" was written for the amusement of my brother-in-law (a detective); the Dodge Charger "letter" was directed at Chris Burian (aka HME), a fellow 4-planter, who once owned a Dodge Charger; The "Hardy the chimp" story is based on a real chimp named Oliver, who legend has it is (or was if he's dead now) a half-chimp-half-man; and the ice cream truck letter was directed at my wife, who once admitted to me that she and her brothers and sisters used to torment their ice cream man in a similar fashion.  The "Hayes House" letters are basically foreshadowing an upcoming Mooj adventure (you can thank Steamer for that since he told me he misses my Traveling with Mooj adventures).  My oldest son is currently reading a Hardy Boys book and I picked it up.  I admit I read it (for nostalgia sake since I loved them when I was a kid) and thought, "Hey, this is so stupid that I can use it as the basis of a new Mooj adventure!"

Believe it or not there really is a Hays House [not Hayes] in Bel Air, MD.  It was built in 1788 and I used to work there on Sundays as a docent, giving tours and such. I loved that old place and knew more about it than most of the other tour guides.  I remember when they were doing some refurbishing in 1997 or 1998 they found a secret compartment hidden under a built-in cabinet, the architect speculated that it probably hadn't been opened in over 150 years.  I was going to hide a "map" in there for them to find as a joke (I was pretty good at faking old documents).  This phony map would have been dated appropriately and referenced only roads and places that were accurate for the time period.  Of course it would be a treasure map that placed the "so-called treasure" under the present day location of the chemical weapons stockpile located at the Aberdeen Proving Grounds.  My wife talked me out of pulling the hoax for obvious reasons.  I guess she was right; I would have hated being dishonorably discharged from the Harford County Historical Society if I was caught.  [I had pulled off similar hoaxes in the past.  Once I showed this guy at my work a supposed "old map" of the county, which showed his house located on what in 1775 was an "Indian Burial Ground." He freaked out.]       

With the exception of Steamer's Rio de Janeiro tale, most of the other letters are legitimate.  I have yet to figure out why people would really ask The Mooj for advice.  I try to make it painfully obvious that The Mooj thing is a joke but some people don't get it.

To be honest I found it hard to find humor at the expense of the poor woman from England, who wanted The Mooj's help in contacting her dead mother.  And then there was that poor lovelorn Bengali girl..... I think she really thought the Mooj could help her.  And what about that woman who wanted to know who the father of her baby was?  Oh my.  Hopefully my advise to those seeking wisdom is too obscure (or stupid) to be of any use..... or result in any unintended outcomes.

The time-travel story about the guy meeting himself at the bus bench was made up.  I wrote it to fill newsletter space.  Most of the "stories" and "poems" are written at the last minute to complete newsletters. 

Oh well, I better get to work ..... if there is any. 


An INEL Story from the Cruiser Ghost ....

Admiral James D. Watkins, Chief of Naval Operations, came to the NRF to speak at an officer graduation ceremony [or for a visit.] On his way to the NRF, a guard stopped him for speeding
[or for not having a security badge]. 

"Do you know who I am?" Watkins asked the guard. The guard said, "No sir, but you're not short and you don't have white hair, so you're not Admiral Rickover." 

"What would you say if I told you I were Rickover's boss?" said Watkins. 

"Then I'd know you were lying, sir. Rickover ain't got no boss."

Darrell Kingsley Comes Aboard!

Just found this [site] and love it. Guess the memories grow less painful as time passes.

Darrell Kingsley
RE22, RE23, RE14, & RE00 from 1993-2000

More from Darrell:

..... let me clear something up... I was assigned to Big E this time period, actual on board 1993-1997 and in 2000...thanks to the efficient Personel dept. the time from 97 to 2000 was a conflict with Navy Department and corrections boards (long story).

Darrell Kingsley

A Rickover Story .....

There are millions of Rickover stories out there.  I've heard a few but I'm not sure which ones are true.  Here's one that I think is. 

When I was in NPS our HTFF teacher (or maybe it was our materials teacher) told us that before he was admitted into the NPS LDO instructor program he had to be interviewed by Rickover.  I guess all nuke officers, including NPS instructors, had to go through this ordeal.  This poor guy was pretty nervous as he sat outside Rickover's office because he had heard all the horror stories about Rickover interviews.  Finally the door opened and Rickover's secretary came out and summoned him to follow her.  After the secretary showed him in and then left, Rickover asked the guy if he thought the secretary was pretty. 

"Uh, I guess so," said the poor NPS instructor candidate.

"Would you like to go on a date with her?" asked Rickover.

The guy had no idea what to do or say so he said "Sure."  Rickover then called the secretary back into the office and introduced the two.  He then tried to fix them up.  

I forget how the story ended exactly.  Our instructor said that the interview ended shortly thereafter and he was pretty confused about it all.  He didn't remember being asked anything salient and wasn't even sure if he was supposed to go on a date with the secretary or not.  

If any of you have a Rickover story, send it in.  I love hearing them. 



I believe those NPS LDOs were actually designated "Direct Input Limited Duty Officers" (DILDOS).


Mike Faivus Comes Aboard!

I don't know if you remember me, but I was in RL division from 1986-1989. Feel free to add me to your contact list. Louis Villafuerte gave me your web site. Great job. I love to read the stories. It brings back all kinds of memories.

Mike Faivus 

Yes Mike I do remember you!  Did you work in HP?  I seem to recall shooting the shit with you across that "half" door they had in there.  How about some ELT stories?  Your RL buddies never send in anything.  It's time to spill the beans!


Guitar O' Rama ....

Those who do remember me probably remember me most with a guitar around my neck.  If I wasn't on watch, asleep or in the RE office, I was probably in the aft no smoking lounge jamming.  I'm not sure who will care but I put together a page showcasing my guitar collection.  If you're a guitar player I'd love to hear about some of your guitars, too.  


Mike Hartman Comes Aboard!

Name - Mike Hartman
Work Center - EE30, 1993-1997
email -

Bob Seal Comes Aboard!

Great site, I hadn't even thought about a dopey book for years!

Information for the page:
Seal, Bob RE Div 1971-1972, EE-30 Div 1978 -1981

Thank you,
Bob Seal 


Then Continue on to Page 16 Click Here 


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